Often times, when an individual is struggling with mental health challenges, it is easy to confuse our feelings with our thinking. For example, "I think I look fat," often translates into "I feel fat," however, the word fat itself is not a feeling that a person can actually experience. Another example may include "I am a total failure," typically following something not going as planned and believing or feeling we are the only reason behind that occurrence. Although, the word failure itself is also not a feeling, much in the same way that fat is not.

Experiencing difficulty separating our thinking and feelings is common for those with mental health challenges but is particularly difficult for individuals who struggle with eating disorders and other co-occurring disorders. This is because the eating disorder self (or voice), which works to both help and harm the healthy self tries to block out a person's feelings. The eating disorder is a part of 'the healthy self' that made your healthy self do something we otherwise normally wouldn't do. However, the good news is, in a recent virtual meeting with my therapist I learned that this is pretty common for individuals to separate the two! So if you find that you need to sit and reflect on your thoughts and feelings for awhile, no matter what you are experiencing in THIS present moment, there is a good chance you are not alone.

With every negative and unhealthy thought and feeling that may arise, it is important to work toward replacing that with a healthier, more positive and kind thought. The negative thoughts we often repeat to ourselves (should we notice that we are doing that) have become false truths for a number of reasons over time and different things play into that whether that is people, places, or things. Therefore, it is our responsibility to start turning those false truths into something that can set us back on track into living more compassionately not only toward ourselves but those around us.

Some feelings include:

Mad, glad, sad, happy, anxious, frustrated, aggravated, excited, worried, grateful, bored, etc.

Here are two that I will share:

1.) I feel unworthy. (unhealthy, negative thought). A healthy saying to replace when I am experiencing this is; worth is determined by who I am as a person, not by how much or how little I ate today or the day before. How do I value others? How do you value others? Is it by the amount of food they eat when you're with them, the size of clothing they wear? Or is it in the way their face lights up when they talk about something they have love and passion for.

2.) I feel fat. (unhealthy, negative thought). Again, "fat" is NOT a feeling. Nor is huge. Rather, I can say that I feel too big after eating to wear jeans. Although, "big" isn't necessarily a feeling either. So, a feeling here that I may experience may instead include "I feel frustrated when having to eat dinner and needing to dress up to go somewhere after." In return, something that is healthy and kind when I am feeling this way can be to say "food is fuel and I need this fuel to be energized in so many ways."

This has suddenly become a time where it's as if we are not constantly moving more, doing or trying something new, improving to be the person we said we would become long ago or becoming the next ________ (fill in the blank), than we aren't doing anything right, just because there is so much down time to do all of that and figure all of that out. But where is the proof? What is the harm in taking a day to yourself? The way I see it, is that there is no better opportunity than right here, right now to focus on our mental health and that looks differently for everybody. And this doesn't always have to mean trying a new hobby every single day, although by all means.

Ultimately, it is especially important to treat yourself with kindness when your emotions are beating up your brain. Recognize where you're at each day, and understand that no matter where that may be, that is okay. Every day is a new day, a fresh start.