1. The KitchenAid Mixer

This one is definitely an ease into the list and arguably the most practical. I have coveted this kitchen item since my mom first got one when I was in middle-school. Let's be honest, I'm not a professional baker. I don't need this, but damn if it isn't the cutest mixing bowl I've ever seen. Plus it isn't too bad on the price; $250 is reasonable, right honey?

2. The Samsung Smart Fridge

Okay, so I definitely don't need a TV in my fridge. And I definitely don't need a $4,000 fridge. But have you seen the fucking commercial for this thing? You probably haven't if you don't watch as much HGTV as I do, but still. LOOK AT THIS THING. It can tell you how many eggs you have left and how old they are, and you've just been here asking your S.O. that pressing question. Fool.

3. The Professional's Carbonation Fountain

What's that you say Sheila? You only like soda from a fountain? Well say no more you entitled bitch. For a measly $200 you can buy this carbonation fountain and never suffer the perils of bottled soda ever again. La Croix who? Oh Sheila, you really are my least favorite friend. But seriously; odds are I would buy this, use it once, forget to clean it, and then deem it trash 6 months later. And yet, I still really want one.

4. The Viking Dual Range

If you thought I was being extra with the fridge, well you should just click away now, because shit just got real. The Viking Dual Range, which honestly no one other than an actual chef should ever need, sells for a whopping $20K. And obviously, we all want one. Think of all of the sides we could make with those burners. We're obviously doing Thanksgiving at my house fam.

5. Mugnaini Wood-Fired Pizza Oven

You know the age-old argument that stems from the dreaded question "What's for dinner babe?" Don't you just wish you could grab your lover tight and offer to jet them through the night to Naples for authentic Neapolitan pizza paired with a red wine and candlelight? Yeah, well that sounds really expensive. I thought we were saving for a house?! Goddamnit Brad this will never work! Well instead, imagine you could sublet that experience multiple times a month in your own kitchen...for a cool $9,000. I'm game.