Yes, believe it or not, even the worst things can come with a positive -- no matter how dark or twisted it may seem. Now, I, for one, do not like to live with any regrets. Everything in life is a learning experience, no matter how much something makes you cringe when you think about it -- it taught you a lesson (or at least it should have). Disclaimer: If you are going to share this article to make excuses for a toxic relationship with which you are currently involved, please reconsider. While I don't regret dating someone who turned out to be the complete opposite of what was expected, I am in no way condoning continuing to talk to or see these idiots. I am simply sharing with you why I do not see a point in being ashamed of my past (keyword: past), and why you shouldn't either.
1. Life is too short to dwell.
Whether it was the first date and he "forgot" his wallet, or you've only been seeing her for a couple weeks and she's already planning out your wedding, everyone has their horror stories. Even if it was more serious of an issue, if you kept it in past and moved on, you're already winning. Don't hold it in, talk about it -- own your mistakes. Everyone makes them! It's in the past (there's that keyword again). There is no use in wasting time beating yourself up over something dumb when something great is right around the corner (yes, I promise).
2. It makes for one hell of a tale.
Talking about the outrageous encounters I've had has cued raised eyebrows and dropped jaws in complete disbelief. It always makes for an interesting conversation over dinner or drinks. Yes, he really wore sweatpants to dinner, and yes, he really left me to walk to my car alone at midnight in the middle of downtown, three blocks away from my car. Although I feel even more stupid for not recognizing the signs sooner every time I relive the stories, I can't help but crack up at myself and the reactions of my friends. Laughter is the best medicine.
3. You define your standards more clearly.
My first thought when going out on a date is always, "Is he meet-my-parents worthy?" If not, I automatically know it's not going to last. I was raised with enough common sense to recognize what is, or is not, a good idea. I make sure I can see a stable future with someone before I make a commitment. My parents do not dictate my love life in any way shape or form, but if I can't see myself having a relationship as strong as theirs with a certain guy (no offense to Mr. Almost), but he's not coming home to meet the family.
4. What's life without taking a little risk?
If you find "the one" right off the bat, how do you really know that's who you want to be with when you've never experienced anything else? You shouldn't base your relationships off of a compare and contrast chart, but by dating around, you figure out what makes you happy and what makes you suddenly desperate to find a way to support life on Mars.
5. Red flags are now more obvious earlier in relationships.
Once people show you their true colors, you start to recognize patterns. Everyone has his/her individual quirks, but you learn to listen to your gut when something simply doesn't feel right. This makes it so much easier to save yourself the hassle, and walk away before things get too serious.
6. Your weaknesses become strengths.
While you may scold yourself for being vulnerable, and not drawing the line sooner, try to see what you gained instead of what you lost. You realize how far you're willing to go, and how thin you're willing to stretch yourself for someone you truly care about. Although it may feel like you wasted your patience on the wrong person, that's OK -- it taught you more about yourself so you won't waste time making mistakes with the right person in the future.
7. It was fun... well, for the most part, anyway.
OK, no, I did not have fun running back to the parking garage, alone, in the middle of a dimly lit and deserted city campus, but I did have fun on the first few dates. It wasn't meant to be anything serious -- it was just something to do on a Friday night when I got out of work, wanted to kick back, and eat some free Chipotle. Do I wish anything negative on these idiots? Nope. In fact, I wish them nothing but the best and can only hope that they, too, took the positives from our short-lived flings. The most important thing is that we all learn from our mistakes, and try our best to improve for the sake of our future relationships as well as ourselves. Basically, just don't treat, or let anyone treat you, in a way that wouldn't make your mom proud. Remember, if this one doesn't work out, there's plenty of fish in the sea!