It’s a new age in America. Democracy is falling apart. And no, I’m not going to say this is because of the voting numbers being so low.

I’m going to say that it’s because we can no longer have a conversation, much less a debate, with people who disagree with us. This is happening for a bunch of reasons.

First, the general vibe is that anyone who disagrees with us is an idiot, un-American, and trying to hurt people or the country at large. On the left, this takes the form of calling all Republicans bigots, liars, and uneducated. On the right, this is seen in calling liberals “lib-tards”, baby killers, and condescending elitists.

Second, everything is constantly moved to extremes. I watched the vice-presidential debate and wasn’t even surprised that Governor Pence said that Hillary’s plan is really just open boarders with Amnesty, or that Senator Kane said that Trump wanted a Mount Rushmore with Kim Jong-un, Vladimir Putin, and Saddam Hussein. These are useless, inaccurate statements that achieve nothing except more polarization. In order to be able to debate a topic you must debate the actual view, not the extreme where that view could lead.

Third, language has become “triggers” to people on both sides. On the left, someone might say “oppression” or “privilege” which will immediately turn off people on the right. The dictionary doesn’t really help either. Words have developed connotations that are totally separate from their literal definitions. This makes communication between sides incredibly difficult the same way it is hard to communicate between two different languages.

Fourth, the internet has changed how information is distributed. This has a big plus. No longer is information only owned by a few select people. There are more viewpoints being expressed. But with this mass of information, fact versus fiction becomes ambiguous. In the past, and it remains this way in schools, one could cite a “reputable” source and it was respected. News sources are attacked as being biased from both the left and the right. New sites that give incredibly biased information allow people of a view to have that view affirmed whether or not it is accurate. Also, there is a profound distrust for science, as seen by the resistance to accepting Climate Change as real and man made and thinking vaccinations cause autism. The result of all this is that arguments are purely based on opinion rather than fact. Even fact checkers are not accepted as legitimate if they disagree with one’s view. If each side gets and accepts information from different sources and refuses to accept the other side’s sources as legitimate, a debate is virtually impossible.

Fifth, social media sites are giving uneducated, or at least unsupported views, a spotlight. Clever one-liners and headlines have become the norm. People post their responses to political events and have their views liked by their peers, as if that validates their view. The current election has also literally caused people to “de-friend” or “unfollow” people in their life or past because they differ in views. If we don’t hear opposing views, we lose sight of the reality that they are valid views, even if they are uninformed, and that those people deserve respect and their voices to be heard just as much as our own. For the reasons stated above though, we have reached a point where we can no longer challenge one another on these views on the basis of misinformation.

Sixth, there is a widely held distrust for people in general. This is magnified with political figures, but it seems that people say more of the issues happening aren’t mistakes, but are deliberate. From arguments ranging from “repeating history” to “rich people are selfish” to “they’re all liars”, we’ve come to normalize saying that people are generally bad. Whether or not these are accurate on certain topics isn’t what I’m arguing against. I’m arguing that we all, on both sides, have knee-jerk reactions to political views that make us judge the person as good or bad. If a liberal hears their friend say they like Trump, or a Republican hears a friend say they like Hillary, they not only judge their view, but the person. And this is amplified with strangers. The rhetoric isn’t just used by trolls on social media. “If you are voting for Trump you therefore must be trying to hurt women”. Perhaps you’re talking to a person who hates women, but most likely they disagree with you on issues and by saying that you’ve already alienated them so that you can’t have a discussion on that topic or any other for that matter. We are unable to recognize that we can have similar morals and values, yet disagree on issues of policy. If it’s because one party is misinformed or uninformed, discuss where each person is getting their facts. But start with recognizing most people are good and it doesn’t make them inherently bad because they support one piece of legislation or a candidate.

Seventh, people talk via text nowadays. Whether it’s over social media or a text message, the same lack of emotion is inherent in communication through text rather than in person. It’s easier to lose one’s sense of empathy (that’s why cyberbullying is easier than doing it in person). Do in-person conversations go wrong, especially over polarizing topics like politics and religion? Of course they do. But if you’re looking to actually make a difference in someone’s life or beliefs, you should know virtually yelling at them through comments on Facebook is far less affective than sitting down with them and talking. This allows you to observe and ask questions about why they feel the way they do before engaging them on why they should change those views.

And last, because having only two parties leads to having to settle. There isn’t a candidate who is fiscally conservative and liberal on social issues, for example. The Libertarian candidate claims to be that, but in reality he wants to abolish Roe V Wade and make pretty much everything a state’s rights issue. Not arguing that’s wrong, just saying that’s not socially liberal. Of course there will never be a candidate that represents every voter to a T, but having only two major parties leads to people feeling unrepresented.

So what is the answer? I mentioned a few ways to counter the trend, but I honestly don’t think this will be solved, at least not for a while. Each of us individually has to make a conscious effort to avoid generalizing populations, grouping people’s personalities, and communicate in better, more efficient ways. Otherwise we will continue to have gridlock, both in governmental bodies and our personal lives. We need recognize that the real problem isn’t that people have gotten dumber or that one side has gone too far to the right/left, but our lack of communication.

In fact, the reason why both sides are moving is because there isn’t discussion or arguments between the sides. Polarization is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It fuels itself.

I only hope we can stop this before we’ll hate everyone who doesn’t think like us.