Beauty standards for women are always defined by the society they live in. Over the decades, those standards of beauty have been redefined time and time again. As a young woman out in the world today, I can only think that we have gone too far in what we consider to be “beautiful.”

What is beauty, and who or what defines it?

The ideal woman is created. She is created by culture. She is molded by religion. She is sculpted by societal expectations. She is placed up on a pedestal by the media. She is fictional. She is unrealistic and practically unattainable. If she is in reach, what lengths will women go to in order to become her?

Different cultures have different ideas of what beauty is. Some bind their feet. Others stretch their lips and put discs in them. Different countries around the world define what is beautiful based off of decades of history.

Religion makes its mark on beauty by dictating what women can and cannot wear. Some religions or belief systems are stricter than others. Certain religions focus let on what women should wear and more on what they should not wear. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all desire women to dress very conservatively in the long run. Keep covered or risk losing your modesty is the idea.

Society also expects certain things from women in terms of beauty, and those expectations change depending on the age of the woman and what type of woman she is. As a child, frilly dresses and sundresses come to mind. As a teenager, the skirts are to get shorter, but not too short otherwise, she will distract boys. As an adult, women are meant to be sexy, but they must also be modest. In the workplace, they must dress differently than they do on a weekend or day off. They should be dainty. It is quite the contrast. There are very fine lines to be walked in order to be accepted.

Then there is the media. The media holds a large amount of influence over what is considered to be beautiful. Full hips and large posteriors with tiny waists and large busts are the current ideal. Let’s not forget the full (plump) lips as well. Also, no one should cake on makeup, but faces should be flawless. It is all about what is “natural” looking right now, right? Drawn-on eyebrows are natural. All thin noses are natural. Plastic surgery is perfectly natural, correct?

On a realistic note, a lot of these standards of beauty conflict. With so many influences on people today, should we be looking to some more than others? Are women supposed to find the very slim ground between all of these influences to become some stranger’s ideal state of beauty?

The answer is simple, no.

Where has beauty put womankind?

Well, it can honestly be said that not every woman lets outside sources define what makes her beautiful which is my personal preference. However, plenty of women around the globe, and especially in the United States, still feel a large amount of self-loathing or guilt over not meeting what their society considers to be gorgeous. Women have started trying anything to make them more attractive, even if it is unhealthy.

One way in which women have taken on unhealthy habits is through the most basic way of trying to attain a certain look, dieting. Ladies, please hear me out. Losing more than two pounds a week is actually extremely unhealthy for you. You may love watching that number on your scale drop, but your body is not meant to lose large amounts of weight in such a small period of time. Long story short, your metabolic rate slows down, which will make that sudden weight loss seem meaningless when it does not continue. People have also taken lack food consumption to extremes which in turn can lead to really bad eating disorders, all in an attempt to reach and ideal body size.

Another popular thing to try for are “Kylie Jenner Lips.” Women, and especially teenagers, try lip injections and lip plumping machines that are meant to enlarge the overall look of their lips in order to get this look. However, there are often terrible side effects. I am sure some of you have seen the YouTube videos of girls who lips were badly bruised or deformed from trying to obtain this ridiculous aesthetic. I am not entirely sure why this one is so popular. If you don’t have oversized lips, just let tour lips be free to be how they are. Proportionally speaking, I would guess they will look better than enlarged lips would on your face.

Another horrifying area of “beauty” that is becoming way too popular involves a woman’s delicate parts. You can now get it steamed, buy hair dye for it, and even by oils to make it look “more natural.” Horrifying, right?! The worst thing I have heard of recently is, get ready for it, here it goes, “Vajazzling.” It is when you “adorn the pubic area with crystals, glitter, or other decoration.” That is absolutely ridiculous. Women are now trying to play dress up with their nether regions. Have we really hit such a low in our society and culture where this is necessary? Women have also started undergoing procedures such as “vaginal rejuvenation” and “hymen replacement” in order to have more appeal in the dating world today. These medical actions women are taking are literally nearing mutilation in terms of reconstructing entire body parts, all just to feel wanted or attractive.

Botox, starvation, and plastic surgery aside, women are falling for these visions of beauty because they do not grow up being taught to love the body they have. Constantly being bombarded by a million different influences becomes overwhelming. It feels as if the world is trying to constantly tell you that you do not look good enough.

Why women should not care about outside influences.

Not every woman listens to the peer pressure put on her by others. However, it is easy to want to listen when everyone around you starts acting like there is some sort of norm that is to be expected. If women “should” wear dresses, they may feel more obligated to do so. We need to start accepting that everyone is different and embrace those different types of beauty. If you do not have big lips, you do not need them. Enjoy the way your mouth smiles the way it is.

Stop the body shaming. Stop giving the message “thinner is better” or “bigger is better.” Stop trying to change you. You are perfect just the way you are because you are you. Every body type is gorgeous in its own unique way. Every body part has its own charm. There is no reason to start fixing something that is not broken.

If you have someone who is toxic in your life who is telling you that the way you look or dress is incorrect, that is their problem, not yours. Do not listen to the media who tells you to look like celebrities, because you can end up finding yourself consumed in a swirl of cosmetics, needles, and credit card debt trying to be someone else. Why exhaust yourself and waste so much time in your life to fit the stereotype?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

You can watch and follow makeup tutorials all you want if that is what you want. I personally love red lipstick and winged eyeliner. I love straightening my hair because it makes me feel as though I look clean cut. I am not saying to stop doing the things that make you feel good about the way you look. I am simply saying to not take any part of it to extremes to please anyone but yourself.

Be the you, you want to be. Do not let all of the outsiders dictate what you look like. Curvy is charming. Thin is beautiful. Pear-shaped is stunning. All body types are dazzling in their own unique ways, so honestly, love the skin you ended up in. Define your own standards of beauty.

The best thing you can wear is confidence.