I loved "Ella Enchanted" when I was a child. Stories of magic fairies, long-term magic spells, and handsome Prince Charming’s have always captured my daydreams. A brave female protagonist who breaks her own curse is more than I could hope for. "Ella Enchanted" fulfills all of that. I read the book multiple times as a child, and the movie featuring Anne Hathaway is still a guilty pleasure. I often pretended to be under a curse myself, acting out the moment that I could break the spell of obedience. Obedience would be horrid, but wouldn’t it be wonderful to be under even the worst spell, my childhood self thought. Rereading "Ella Enchanted" now, I’m horrified by that thought.

Ella’s curse means that she has to listen to any command given to her, regardless of what it is. She will obey something as simple as taking out the trash and as destructive as killing herself. She gets no choice in the matter, and only a single person around her sees how painful that can be. The others do not care.

Obedience, in anyone’s life, is something that we’re used to. We don’t even question it. We listen to commands at work, commands at school, even commands left over from childhood that tell us to look both ways before crossing the street. We don’t question them. Why would we? Orders are normal to daily life.

Seeing how these simple commands destroyed Ella made me think about all the simple commands I utter every day. Mindless things. Pointless things.

Shut the front door. Don’t forget to unload the dishwasher. Make sure you text me. Give me that.

How many commands have I uttered? What did I force the Ellas of the world to do?

Commands are a larger part of our language than I ever realized. They litter almost every sentence that leaves my tongue, and it’s shocking how normal they taste. Are imperatives orders because I believe they are? Or are they orders because someone believes they have to obey them?

That role of choice in our actions is small. It’s a subtle but key aspect of how we live our lives, and it’s something that we often overlook until it is taken from us.

The people I’m speaking to know they have a choice in the matter. A friend can easily ignore my request for her to buy me lunch. My boyfriend isn’t going to shut the door just because I told him. A customer won’t listen if I tell them to wait for a moment. They each have the ability to decide for themselves if they want to choose that course of action.

When Ella’s fairy godmother realizes the pain that small orders give her, she stops using them. Orders become requests, and thus they are now presented as a choice. Do you choose to hold the mixing bowl? Do you choose to live this life? Do you choose to be responsible?

Rereading "Ella Enchanted" makes me realize my choice. Before uttering an order, I now think to myself if it is an undeniable command. Orders have no place in my voice when I’m speaking to friends, to co-workers, to family. Demands are reworded to requests. Questions that prove I am not asking for control and they are not giving up their choice, because no matter what curse is laid, no one should give up their right to choose.