It's the holiday season and Santa Claus...well, if I followed true to the Andy Williams lyrics, he'd be "comin' round" to the "Christmas snow" that's "white on the ground," but Santa Claus is the least of a college kid's worries during the holiday season. For those of us on the undergraduate grind, the holiday season can be mapped as a brief period of relaxation before Thanksgiving Break which is followed by two to three weeks of mayhem, stress, and endless all-nighters before we finally return home to the land of home-cooked meals and sleeping in until noon if we so choose.

So, while you're pushing through those last pages of final papers, those last notecards flitting between trembling fingers, listen to the Starbucks barista that's begging you to take a break from your studies. Instead of trudging through another mountain of notes, turn on the TV and pray to God that there's at least a halfway decent Christmas movie on Freeform.

If you're extremely lucky, it'll be National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: the holy grail of the dry, sarcastic, and slightly immature comedy that college students crave.

Or is that just me?

Walking out of your last exam like...

Home may be where the heart is but, for college students, the dorm room is where most of your prized possessions reside. Whether you cannot live without your entire collection of shoes for a few weeks or you're terrified of being fined for "contraband items" during room checks, packing up most of your room is essential. Just try not to scream too loud when that ball of dirty laundry you shoved into the back of your closet two months ago falls out as you're packing. Fines for noise violations are doubled during finals, after all.

Driving at the start of holiday traffic like...

Now that you've packed most of your life away into your tiny station wagon (or BMW if you're the stereotypical HPU student,) you can finally hit the road...along with all of your classmates. Traffic sucks, you're tired of listening to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" on repeat, and there are still 2 hours left in your drive. I highly advise against any evasive traffic maneuvers that resemble Clark Griswold's in Christmas Vacation.

Walking through the front door like...

Home again home again! Whether it's the excited attacks of your parents or a horde of Golden Retrievers, you are almost guaranteed a warm welcome back to your childhood abode. Revel in the warmth of familiar sights, emotions, and smells while you can, because things are about to get real. Mom warns that the family is staying for the holidays and you try to hide your disappointment in the fact that this means you have to wear pants anywhere outside of your own room.

Introducing your family to your new S/O like...

Ah, relatives. They're...usually pretty easy to get along with. On occasion. Okay, sometimes they can be pretty terrible, especially when they are skeptical of an outsider to the family group. Never fear! If your "flavor of the week/month/year" (I don't judge) is truly "the one," your family is sure to warm up to them at some point and all will feel warm and cozy again. Just be fair to him or her and let them know ahead of time how many times they will be asked: "so when are you two gonna have kids?"

Having your first home cooked meal in weeks like...

Okay, so maybe that home-cooked meal you've been craving for months isn't as great as you had hoped. Nevertheless, the last thing you want to do is offend your mom/aunt/grandma/weird-uncle-that-has-decided-he's-the-next-master-chef-despite-the-fact-that-he-can't-make-toast, so you grin and bear it. Surely all of those Golden Retrievers won't mind chewing a few bits of severely burnt chicken and watery mashed potatoes. Just make sure to keep an eye on Sparky in case it doesn't sit well.

Sleeping in your childhood bed again like...

Even if the first meal back home fails you, you know your bed never will. Forget the fact that you usually stay up past 2 AM at school, you haven't slept more than 2 consecutive hours in weeks and those race car sheets are calling your name. Time to throw on your jammies and hit the hay!

Sleeping in late...FINALLY

This one has a dual meaning. You could be Catherine, excited beyond belief that you can finally relieve your weary body from the constant stress of staring at a computer screen until all hours, or you could be Audrey, waking up at 3 PM and realizing your day is basically over. Maybe it's a waste, maybe it's the best day ever. The choice is up to you.

Vegging out in front of the TV like...

Yet another perk of being free of classes and homework: endless Netflix binges (without the nagging sensation that you should be doing work instead.) Time to snuggle up with a hot cup of cocoa, a box of Gingerbread Men, and watch every last Christmas Special on 25 Days of Christmas. After the stress of exam season, you've definitely earned some relaxation time.

Helping decorate the family Christmas tree like...

No matter who picks it out, somebody always argues that there is something wrong with the Christmas tree. Whether it's "too tall," "too lopsided," or "too full of sap and woodland creatures," somebody is going to be unhappy. Ignore them because they are a Scrooge. Time to Deck The Halls with boughs of holly and Rock Around that Christmas Tree in all of its dangerous sticky glory.

Burning the Christmas Cookies like...

It's not Christmas until somebody sets off the fire alarm by incinerating a batch of gingerbread men. Hark, the Herald Fire Alarm screams! When all else fails, just roll out the Lofthouse cookies and place them on a pretty plate. Nobody will ever know...well, except the massacred battalion of cookie men. Those poor little biscuits never saw it coming. RIP Gingy.

Reuniting with distant relatives again like...

Let's not beat around the bush here, we all know that spending time with family is either the best or the worst part of the holiday season. Don't panic! Just take a deep breath (and perhaps a shot of Peppermint Schnapps) and relax. All problems can be solved with a random, rousing round of "Deck The Halls." Just stay calm and jingle on.

Going to bed on Christmas Eve like...

After dealing with all of the stress of last-minute shopping, decorating, baking, wrapping...yeah, it's time to go to bed. Don't pout, don't cry...I'll tell you why: because it's just going to keep everybody going and visions of Sugar Plums only dance to Classical Music, not screamo. After donning your kerchief (or your cap,) prepare for the arrival of the big man in the most satisfying way and settle in for a long winter's nap. You've earned it.

Waking up on Christmas Morning like...

The best part of Christmas morning is stumbling down the stairs in your Christmas pajamas and seeing all of the presents sitting around the Christmas tree. SANTA CAME! All of the stress from the night before has dissipated and the childhood joy of the long-awaited Christmas morning has taken over. Before long, wrapping paper is flying and happy screaming fills the air. Forget all that charity and giving stuff, this is what the holidays are all about.

Opening "that one present" like...

You know which one I'm talking about. That one present that you open and have to fight with every ounce of your Christmas cheer to smile and say "thank you." One year it may be a docile pair of socks, the next it may be an ugly Christmas sweater, and the next it may be a Justin Bieber album you haven't listened to in 4 years and will never listen to again. Just grin and bear it, part of the Reason for the Season is giving back to others, even if it means giving them the false satisfaction that they found the perfect present for you. Regifting is always an option.

Sitting down to Christmas Dinner like...

Okay, we get it. Christmas is the season to spend time with family...but didn't we just spend most of the day with them? When do we get to stow away in our rooms and have some peace and quiet? Apparently not around dinner time because mom is yelling at you to set the table while she and your dad struggle to get the roast out of the oven so the new batch of cookies can go back in. Meanwhile, your relatives are starting to arrive at the door, carrying armfuls of food themselves. At least you know it'll be over soon and you can take the leftovers as a reward for all of the time you were forced to spend with family and pretended not to mind.

Getting lit with your hometown friends like...

There's something magical about having an "adult beverage" with your childhood friends. Sure, it's fun on those wild Saturday nights at school but something about a spiked Eggnog with Jimmy, the one that you played in the sandbox with, is just so much more special. Kick back, relax, and laugh at everybody's stories of how they barely survived this semester.

Waking up the morning after Christmas like...

Inevitably, one of your new presents will fail to work the way you want the day after Christmas. Your new iPhone won't sync, your new drone won't fly a straight line, your new pants don't fit quite right (but you blame all of yesterday's Christmas cookies.) Whether it's the lack of batteries or the lack of Christmas magic, don't let it get you down. Just hit up the good ole Internet to see if you can find any kind of troubleshooting page for your failing product. Surely somebody knows what's wrong with it...unless it's your pants, then you're on your own.

Packing up to go back home like...

There's a certain bittersweetness in packing up to return to college on those brisk January days. On one hand, you love your family and the comforts of sleeping in late, only getting up to get a snack or hang out with old friends, but on the other, you really need your freedom and you do actually want to get your degree. Just don't put it off until the morning you are set to say your goodbyes. If you do, you're bound to end up like Clark Griswold, speeding along the road to Wal-Mart, your life flashing before your eyes, as you wonder where you went wrong.

Returning to Campus like...

With all of the holiday cheer gone, you start to realize that college can be a very lonely place. At first, you miss your family and hometown friends. Then, you start to realize that you'll be home for Spring Break fairly soon and, in the meantime, you don't mind your roommates all that much. They're actually pretty cool people. Just watch what you say to people in the meantime, you don't want to burn too many bridges before the semester even starts.

Realizing classes start back up soon like...

Ah, yes, the inevitable realization that you are, in fact, still a student. By definition, this requires you to at least pretend you attend classes and do the work that is assigned. Strap in and pray for the warmth of Spring Break because you're gonna be here for a while.