There are five [common] brands/types of chocolate milk in this world, and in case you're unsure of which one to drink at the moment, I have tied each type to a male celebrity! I hope that this short list of comparisons will help solve the dilemma of which to choose, and if nothing else, see #5.*

*disclaimer: this list might be slightly biased

1. Nesquik, the chocolate milk of your childhood

Nesquik, the chocolate powder advertised heavily on TV, might've been your go-to as a child. However, you're older now, and Nesquik just seems kind of weird. Same with Drake Bell; he was a rad guy when he starred on "Drake and Josh," but why is Drake Bell using his microscopic bit of relevance in 2016 to be a jerk to other celebs?

2. Borden, always delivers

Borden is a brand I can get behind. Consistently smooth, this milk always delivers and it's relatively inexpensive! Plus, it goes great with donuts, or anything really. Zac Efron, aside from the relatively inexpensive part, is a lot like Borden. He has also had a successful and active acting career and his films deliver happiness, similar to the happiness that can be achieved with Borden Chocolate Milk.

3. Promised Land, rich and hearty

Promised Land is a more upscale chocolate milk, but it's filled with protein and other goodness. You know what else is filled with protein and goodness? Ryan Reynolds. His recent film "Deadpool" has catapulted him into the spotlight and for very good reason--he's absolutely gorgeous and charming. These two might be out of reach due to lack of money, or the fact that the other is married, but we can all dream of the promised land, right?

4. Silk, supposedly good for you?

Silk. I have bad memories with this "mil.k. I also have bad memories with Kanye West (2009 VMAs or more recently, his song from "The Life of Pablo"--you know which one I'm referring to.) Silk is advertised as a healthy option and it provides a non-dairy alternative to those who are lactose-intolerant. Kanye West is advertised as a genius, but all he does is clog up my Twitter timeline and I don't even follow him.

5. Homemade Chocolate Milk, readily available

There's few things simpler than grabbing the Hershey's (or off-brand if you're like me) chocolate syrup and squeezing 1/4 of the bottle's contents into a glass of milk. If there's no chocolate milk in the fridge, making your own is a simple and inexpensive alternative to going out and buying a new gallon/bottle. Ashton Kutcher is the celebrity that's there, probably not in your fridge, but in your DVD cabinet, or on those channels that re-run "That '70s Show."