Today I’m writing to help all others who are going through the pain of a heartbreak by their first love, the first person they’ve ever let into their life and honestly let every guard down. Someone they exposed themselves to emotionally, and someone they gave things to that you can’t truly ever get back, your heart and memories.

If you’re reading this you might being going through what seems like the hardest time of your life. I’m not going to tell you “just give it time, it’ll get better” because I’ve found time alone doesn’t heal. I’ve found forcing myself to not think about something has only made things worse and honestly found myself slipping into depressing thoughts and thoughts of “What did I do wrong” or “What’s wrong with me, why was I not enough.”

I don’t believe that a random hook-up nor moving onto to someone else will truly help you heal. Honestly I recently went through my first heartbreak from a guy I thought I was “in love with” and gave away too much of my own happiness.

Don’t force yourself to move on to another guy/girl, the answer isn’t always replace that person with another one. There’s many other things besides “moving on and dating other people” that can mend a broken heart.

Try finding a new hobby, try something new. Maybe go back to a childhood hobby you loved. Distract yourself with things that are healthy and up-lifting.

Something I love to do is work-out and it has always been an escape for me. Exercising releases Dopamine, a chemical that plays a role in happiness because it is a neurotransmitter in the brain that is necessary for feelings of pleasure and happiness.

Try writing your feelings down on paper, maybe a letter to this person where you can let out everything you’re feeling or everything he made you feel, but never send it. Trust me, sometimes putting things down on paper releases all the feelings of hate, hurt, and remorse you’ve bottled up.

Surround yourself with POSITIVE people. This person probably momentarily took away your smile, and that’s OK, the boy I fell for took mine too for many months but the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who keep your spirits up. Have a night with friends and talk to them about it. They want to be there for you more than you even know.

Talk to your mom or your mentor, or the adult you go to for wisdom. Having an adult you can trust 100% and open up to without feeling judged is super important. You need someone in your life who has been through a lot more than you and who can give you advise on how to get through this time, not only because they’re one of the best women that you know, but because they know what it’s like to be in your shoes. Remember they were once your age and have definitely experienced way more in life than you so they can relate!

Getting over someone or something someone did to you is the furthest thing from easy but don’t let yourself slip into depressing thoughts and feelings like I did. Once I finally starting putting myself as a priority in my life and started focusing on healthy ways to heal, I started getting better.

You don’t need a significant other to give you your worth or create happiness, YOU are in charge of what you do and the first step is to let go.

Change is hard, change is painful, but is there anything more painful than staying stuck somewhere that isn’t growing you.