I loved you. I really did. But two years later, I've finally realized that sometimes you love people who don't deserve your love and that loving them only makes you hate yourself more. Sometimes we give our love to the wrong people because we don't know how to love ourselves or the kind of love we really deserve.
All the nights I cried myself to sleep because you didn't call like you said you would.
All the days I waited by my phone waiting for your text... three days later.
All the times you chose drugs over me or made me feel bad for asking you not to when I was around.
All the phone calls spent fighting because I wanted to see you but that just "wasn't your style."
All the times I built up the courage to break up with you only to chicken out the moment I saw you.
All the days spent with you thinking none of the crap you put me through mattered because you loved me.
That's not love, though. No one who loves you should make you feel bad about yourself for wanting and loving them. A man should jump hurdles to make you happy, just like you would for him. Don't ever settle for any man that makes you cry more than he makes you laugh and smile.
But as much as I hate you for the hell you put me through, I also do owe you thanks. Because if it wasn't for you, I would have never realized what toxic love really is and how I deserve far better than the poor attempt at love you gave me. Because it really is true that "we accept the love we think we deserve."
I may have accepted that love two years ago, but I would never accept it now. And no one ever should.You never deserved me or my love for you.