I can recount the number of times where I was the only black girl in my class. Whether it was a few classes in elementary or even now throughout my college life, I was mainly surrounded by white students. I didn't have a problem with it then, nor do I now, but seeing a person of color, especially another black person, brings about a sense of comfort; a comfort which leads me to believe that I will not have to fear the possibilities of judgment alone.

The ole you're this or that "for a black girl" routine has plagued me throughout my adolescent years. To have someone to relate to on a more cultural level and not feel like a lonely outsider, was something that I often looked forward to. Yet on a few occasions, my sigh of relief upon seeing black women enter my classes quickly turned to one of disappointment. They'd sit on the opposite side of class, rolling their eyes, and barely talking to one another. It's understandable that one shouldn't expect to become friends with a person simply because they share the same skin color, but this dislike among black women is far more complex than that. It can be seen as the annoyance or disgust plastered among the faces of many black women when confronted with a group of other black women while out on an excursion, seeming as if they shouldn't be there. As if the event or location can only have but so many black women.

Now of course this isn't true for us all, but it happens too frequently to ignore. Black women going out of their way to put other black women down. We tend to hold one another to a higher level of criticism. This hatred, envy, and hierarchy among black women has been going on for too long, and may have even originated further back in history. The slave mentality, where this notion of self-hatred was embedded into the minds of slaves and pushed to also hate and envy those who were treated better or given things due to possessing certain skills, having a lighter skin complexion, or simply because the slave master favored them over the others. This can still be seen today, with the black youth on social media separating themselves by skin color as if the check list for race on an application has different shades of black to choose from. The media could also be to blame. With shows that mimic disrespectful behavior among black women as the norm. Shows that sole focus is surrounded around black women gossiping and fighting with one another.

With change in the air, one can only hope that these movements of self love can mend the love that we black women should also have for one another.