Some people need food, some people need sleep and some people just need coffee in their lives to survive. I guess some negative people might call it an addiction, but I see it as more of a lifestyle.
1) Coffee makes you a better (and more stable) person
Other people don't understand your need for coffee. They don't understand that drinking coffee is the only way you can continue to function. If you don't have your coffee, you're a complete mess and frankly, not the nicest person.
2) When someone suggests you get decaf coffee instead
Decaf coffee is only for the weak. You know, those people who don't know how to handle their coffee intake. Second, can someone please explain what the point of decaf coffee is? I mean if you're going to order decaf, you might as well order a totally different drink altogether.
3) You're generally concerned about people who don't like coffee
Let's just agree that you may or may not need to re-evaluate your life choices and leave it at that.
4) You can't be held accountable for anything you do or say to people before you have your morning coffee
Sorry, not sorry. It's their own fault, right?
5) You just expect your local coffee place to know your order
Hi, I'm here every day. Multiple times a day. I keep you business. Let's be honest, my coffee should just be named after me by now.
6) When you just need more coffee to survive the day, but apparently it's not socially acceptable to have multiple cups a day
DOES IT REALLY MATTER HOW MANY CUPS I'VE HAD?
I pay you. You feed my addiction. That's how it works. No need for an extra comments or questions.
We don't ask for much. All we need is a cup of coffee now and then to keep us happy. Just let us go about our coffee-driven lives.