When I was 6 years old, you were my best friend. We climbed trees, played school, colored together, played detective, explored the basement. You’d pick a cedar leaf from the tree near your house for me, because you knew I loved the scent! We played baseball and catch outside, listened to music, watched TV and movies, ate our favorite snacks, and you coached me as I learned how to ride a bike.

I think about you often, almost every day. Especially these days, because I wish you could’ve gotten to know me. This me. The real me. I wish we could’ve built a snowman together, or gone fishing and have you teach me how, like we had always planned. I wish you had been able to see me become an aspiring artist at age 10, drawing various Disney characters or illustrations I’d seen in my favorite books. I wish you gotten to see my fervor when I first started writing stories at 11. I wish I could’ve told you about my fascination with forensics when I was 12, or my vet tech job shadows at 13. I wish I’d gotten to show and share with you the books I read at 14, or tell you about the library programs I took my brother to over the summer. I wish you had gotten to see me play my guitar at 17, and hear me sing as well. I wish I could’ve written to you during Basic Training, after I joined the Army at 19. I wish you could’ve come to my wedding when I was 21. I wish I could’ve told you about adopting my first puppy at 22, or about my trip to Disneyland with my husband at 23. I wish I could’ve visited you and told you about life in Phoenix, Arizona. I would’ve told you stories about pretty sunsets and palm trees, warm winters, and summers with friends…

I wish I could tell you about going to college on my laptop computer at 25, and how I’m becoming the student and writer I’ve always wanted to be. I wish I could tell you what I’ve been learning, or read you my articles I’ve written for Odyssey. I wish I could show you my funny picture jokes I’ve made, or the many photographed memories on my smartphone. I wish I could show you the wonderfully silly new world of memes, and take a selfie with you!

I wish you could’ve been with me through it all, to see me grow and change, and to give me a chance to make you proud. I must admit, I’m not overly religious these days, but if Heaven exists (and I hope it does), then I know you’re up there. I hope you are proud of the person I’ve become. Know that you will always be in my heart. When you died when I was 10, I feel like you left to soon, and that I was cheated out of a friendship that should’ve lasted a lifetime. No matter where you are now though, you’re still my best friend, and my conscience, and I miss you every day. Just know that from the bottom of my heart, I wish you were still here with me, but I know you are in spirit. This letter is for you; I love you, Grandpa Ted!