A birthday is a day which should be acknowledged for many reasons. Not only do they mark the beginning of another year on Earth or bring you closer to being able to finally drink legally, but they also signify something much more. Birthdays are a chance for us to look back and reflect on our growth through the years. Although getting your braces off and finally learning how to apply eyeshadow correctly are milestones in growing up, there’s a different type of growth worth noting…inner growth. Whether you realize it or not, as our birthdays pass once again and our age rises we are learning so much. We mature both spiritually and mentally throughout the years, ultimately creating better people for it. All our past experiences, first kiss, first heartbreak, starting high school, and even the time you got hit in the face at recess in second grade are all events in which we take away valuable lessons which forever impact how we live our lives. Every birthday it’s important to take note of a valuable lesson you had learned at that age. These are 9 lessons which I’ve learned in my 19 years.

1. People don’t change.

No matter how hard you want them to, it’s impossible to change someone else and their bad habits. Some people come with baggage that effects how they act and the only thing you can do is accept it or move on from them. If someone has done something hurtful to you in the past, chances are it is going to happen again.

2. Never compromise your beliefs for someone else.

I know you want to fit in but you should NEVER change yourself for someone else. Whether this be boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, or sometimes even your family, you shouldn’t have to hide who you really are just to make someone like you. This is something I really struggled with but it’s important to recognize that although this one person may not like who you are, there is someone else out there who will be in love with everything you embody so don’t change what you believe in or how you look or how you act to be liked.

3. School comes first.

Too many times we find ourselves torn between going out and having fun and staying home to study for an important test. I find that this lesson really applies most to people in high school or people on college scholarships. I’ve seen so many kids who goofed off in high school panic when it came time for college applications because they chose to have fun instead of focus and ultimately it affected their future. It may not seem like it when you are young, but school is the most important thing -- it determines your future and potential jobs.

4. Once a liar, always a liar.

This is a lesson I learned more recently but found it to be the most important. People that lie and keep secrets are people you should avoid because ultimately they are just going to harm you and bring negativity to your life. In relationships there should never be any lies. Never. There is no need to lie to someone you love and you should never treat catching your significant other in a lie lightly because they will just do it again. Always tell the truth no matter how hard it is. Sometimes the bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.

5. Winners never cheat and cheaters never win.

This can be applied to so many aspects of life. In school, if you are taking the easy way out and cheating on everything and copying work, it only harms you in the long run. As I started a new chapter of my life at college I learned this very quickly. Although in high school it can be very easy to have your friends just do your homework for you or text you the answers, in college you are on your own and there is no possible way to cheat. The only thing you’ll be cheating is yourself out of doing well. Cheating regarding relationships is just as bad. Never be the one to cheat. If you are unhappy, save the other person the pain of you doing that heinous act and just be honest and break up. Although some people believe it is okay to take their significant other back after only one instance of cheating, I disagree. Cheating most likely isn’t a one-time thing for many people and you are too young to put yourself through that stress. So overall, cheating is bad in any context.

6. You have to love yourself first.

I find this to be the most difficult thing to follow yet the most vital. In order to be successful and truly happy, you have to love yourself first. Accept all your flaws and fall in love with them. Insecurities distract people from being able to have the confidence to accomplish their goals and even in relationships, you need to love yourself before you can love someone else. The tiny gap in your two front teeth, the way your thigh’s touch, and the bump in your nose…love them. Imperfection is what makes people unique and ultimately that is beauty.

7. Always make time for what makes you happy.

As we grow up, we tend to focus more on our futures and education and less on us. Too many times you hear of adults giving up their passions to buckle down for school and they express nothing but regret in doing so. Although school is extremely important, our mental health and happiness should always come first. Don’t leave behind activities that make you happy. If you love to draw, or dance, or sing, set time apart for it in your busy schedule. We have 24 hours in a day, taking one hour out to pursue an activity which will bring you joy.

8. Have patience with those who are different than you.

Too often we are quick to snap at people and mock them but it is important to recognize that each and every one of us is different for a reason. Instead of pointing out differences and embarrassing others because of it we should embrace it. If others have different ideas and beliefs than you, have patience and accept and respect their opinions instead of arguing against it. It is okay to disagree, but how we go about it is what matters.

9. Things always work out in the end.

Although things may not be going well at the moment it is important to recognize that in the end everything works out. There is a plan set out for each and every one of us. As cliché as it sounds, everything really does happen for a reason. You may not understand why certain people left you life or why you didn’t get into your dream school, but all these bad things happen so that good things can fall into place. Without sadness we would never know joy.