To my strict parents,
Growing up, I wasn't allowed to do much. I couldn't miss school unless I was puking my brains out. I never missed a day of practice since I started playing sports at the age of 4. I had a curfew, and I had secret boyfriends in middle school because I didn't know if I was actually allowed to have a boyfriend. I grew up afraid of the consequences. I grew up fearful and always played it safe, but because you guys were so strict, I grew up.
Because of you guys, I am 21 years old and healthy. I am attending a wonderful school and even though I don't always show that I am appreciative, I have learned a few things from you.
1. You taught me respect.
Whether it was respecting myself or others, you taught me the importance of friendliness. I respect my peers, I know how to be thoughtful and considerate of situations. You guys disciplining me for stealing that candy from 7-11 however many years ago, taught me how to apologize and take responsibility for my actions and to respect not just the business but altogether the authority.
Telling me that I was wearing too much make up or that my shirt was too low cut may have made me upset at the time, but it taught me to respect myself. Sure I don't necessarily wear a turtle neck all of the time but I do know how to dress classier because dad's disapproval and overprotection and mom's sense of style (yes I still need help picking out clothes).
2. You taught me discipline.
Even on the days I didn't want to go to school or practice or work, I still did because I didn't want you guys to hate me or think anything less of me. You always told me that I made a commitment, which has always stuck with me. This also taught me the importance of commitment going hand in hand with discipline. I committed to a team in high school, I committed to furthering my education and getting a good job so that I am in a good position to some day raise a family. I am committed to that future family, to taking care of them and myself.
I always had to do well in school, ever since I started. I got held back in kindergarten because I couldn't sit still or pay attention. I'm not ashamed, it was actually helpful. Who knows where'd I'd be now if I went on to the next grade not ready. In third grade I cried my eyes out because I got an A- on a spelling test. In fourth grade I thought I was grounded for life for getting my first B on a test. I was afraid to do poorly because I feared disappointment. But even now if I don't do well on an exam, I get a slight scold saying that I'm better than that, which is true, but it doesn't ever stop you from loving me.
3. You taught me faith.
Some people don't get to say that they grew up in a house of God. I was lucky enough to grow up in a home where we celebrate his birth and the life he gave us, altogether the Lord himself. Maybe as kids none of us appreciated going to church every Sunday, and as we all grew we became too busy to go to church. But you never lost your faith. Praying at the dinner table when we had time for meals to be eaten together, and celebrating CHRISTmas, has really meant something to me now, especially in school where my faith can be tested. I know the power of prayer because of you and I know that God always has my back because of you, and I couldn't tell you how extremely grateful I am of you for exposing me to knowing God.
4. You taught me value.
Some of my friends call me Mom. Because I take care of them when they need it and I'll cook for them because I feel like it (Jamie). But I learned this because you taught me how to value those most important to me. Every holiday we visit both sides of the family because I know you two both value your parents. Which has taught me to value family. You taught me that family always comes first.
5. You taught me love.
Almost 24 years of it to be exact. Your guys' love for each other has set an example for me. It shows me the importance of being faithful, the importance of trust, and the importance of honesty. And the obvious lesson; the importance of love. Because of you I know how to love my siblings, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, grandparents, and friends, and you guys. The amount of love you portrayed set an example for me. It sets the bar high, it makes me patient for the guy that I might call my future husband. It makes me excited to love the children I will some day be having (don't worry. Six years tops). I am grateful to have been exposed to such a great example of love, which I'm sure you learned from your parents. Grandma and Grandpa (of both sides) are also good examples of this too!
We have fought, I have deceived, I have been disciplined, and we have screamed at each other. Ultimately, none of those take away from how much I appreciate you for being so strict. I didn't dare talk back or be rude because I had to respect my elders and my peers. I wasn't able to do as much but that's because I made a commitment to myself in bettering myself in becoming who I want to be. I wasn't able to skip out on prayer if asked because I am a follower of God and I understand that he is always there for me. I do not dare disrespect my family, because losing them would be too unbearable. And I cry at the thought of being alone, but I know I'm not because I am always going to be loved by the people who have seen me grow up and grew up with me.
So before I never thought that you being "unfair" would have taught me so many lessons, but now thinking about it all, I am so very grateful to have parents like the two of you. Thank you for being the best teachers I have ever had.
xoxo