As we start our freshman year, we have this idea and plan of how it’s going to go. Everything is set and ready for the rest of our lives. But by the end of the year we realize that it wasn’t what we expected, but it was everything we hoped for. So with this in mind, take this list of things I learned by the end of my freshman year and try not to worry too much about the beginning of yours.

1. High school friends stay in contact if they were really your friends.

It always seems like your high school friends are the girls who are going to be in your wedding. But when you all go off across the country, it’s hard to keep in touch. The friends who you find to be worth making scheduled FaceTime calls and for crying to in the middle of the night on the phone are the people you know will be there for the long run. However, the friends who don’t respond and only call when it’s to hear about whether or not so and so are still dating aren’t going to be making the cut for your wedding party. This isn’t a bad thing per say, and they were supposed to be in your life, but only for a short time. Don’t stress because you still have those who are meant to be there.

2. You’re allowed to make more best friends.

Coming into school, we all hope to find a group of people that get to be our family away from home. Whether we wanted a best friend forever or some amazing people on your floor who are going to take care of you on those not so sober nights. Either way, you’ll be making new friends. You’re allowed to have more than one best friend. If you really want, you can have a best friend in every group you’re involved in. Just know that you’re always going to have your best friend from high school, but you need people at college who can take care of you, too!

3. Getting involved isn’t as easy as it sounds.

During that first week of school, you know you’re guilty of writing your email down at every table at the involvement fair in order to get free stuff, t-shirts, buttons, food, and more. Feeling super guilty that you swindled the person at the table, you go to the first meeting of the year and then never show up again. This is the typical move of most freshman. Then when it’s time to actually pick something you like to do, a lot of the time it’s not what you expected or the people aren’t nice! But DON’T stop trying to find clubs and organizations that interest you. It’ll pay off in the long run.

4. You’re not going to meet your soulmate at orientation.

This is the biggest lesson of freshman year. A lot of people come into college thinking they’re going to meet the one. First week, gaze across the quad, lock eyes, and fall in love at first sight. WRONG! College doesn’t work like that. A lot the freshman come into college with their high school relationships hanging on by a thread while the other half come in with a box of condoms. Then there are all the older guys and girls who have done the crazy freshman year, at least most of them have outgrown it, and they want something more serious. It’s a struggle to figure it all out. There is always the chance you won’t find anyone you like at all. But honestly, you’ve got three more years to mess around with the college people, then it’s where your love life truly starts.

5. If you and your roommate aren’t super close, don’t worry, she won’t kill you in your sleep.

Freshman year roommates are hit or miss a lot of the time. Most of us luck out and get someone similar to us. But for those of you who don’t, it’s not the end of the world. Living with someone doesn’t automatically make them your best friend. So if you just co-exist within the room, sure it will be awkward, but she’s not going to make your life a living hell. Take the time, however, to pick someone you can truly live with for the following year, compromise, and set ground rules. It’ll save you a lot of stress.

6. A little party never killed nobody.

Going out is an option every night of the week. But that doesn’t mean you should be going out every night, no matter how much you may want to. College is a lot of picking and choosing when to be mature and responsible or to be young and wild and free. Parties are awesome, a great stress reliever from the long week, and a time to be with your friends, but there is always a time and a place. Figuring that out helps you navigate the rest of your four years.

7. You don’t have to be set on you life plan yet, so stop stressing.

So many people come into college knowing exactly what they want to do with their lives. They have seven majors, 12 minors, and 300 ideas of how to do it, while you’re sitting in the back row of every introductory class hoping something will pop out at you and tell you what to do with your life. We’re 18 and 19 years old. How the hell are we supposed to pick what we want to do for the next 50 something years? As an undecided freshman, enjoy learning and exploring different options of careers. You can take music, philosophy, astronomy, whatever interests you do it! You’ll have fun along the way.

8. The freshman 15 isn’t mandatory!

Watch what you eat. No one was lying when they said you gain weight in college. It could be from stress, but a lot of the time it’s because we eat the junk from the fried or pizza station in the dining hall. It might be annoying to wait in the salad bar line or ask for grilled instead of fried chicken, but it’s worth it. Plus, there is this amazing place called the gym. You don’t have to even run on a treadmill. Walking for 20 minutes is going to help you burn off some bad calories. Most schools do have a free student gym, and I would use it. Try to lay off the bread sticks though, even though they’re the best thing ever!

9. You’re going to miss your parents.

There will not be a day that goes by while you’re at school where you won’t think of or thank your parents for something. While you’re folding clothes or figuring out how to fix your desk drawer, your parents will pop into your mind. Missing them is part of the experience of college. Why would you have motivation to finish the semester if you weren’t going back to the best parents in the world. Plus as the older folks have always said, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” AKA: you’re going to be so much happier and willing to hang out with your parents after being gone for awhile. And you’re going to love it.

10. Don’t share your secret spots in the library.

This is the most important thing! The first week of school go and explore the library. I am being 100 percent serious. Go to every floor and figure out the hiding spots, so when you’re trying to cram studying for a test or bang out a five page paper in one night, you have somewhere to go without getting distracted by everyone who walks in the door. And do not give up your spot. Even if you think it’ll be a cute little study date, don’t. Because the next time you’re trying to go and study whoever you took there will be there...with another girl.

11. You shouldn’t have regrets, just learning curves.

Your first year is coming to a close. You’ve make lots of decisions, meet lots of people, and have many fuzzy nights. These are the things that build you into who you are and who you will be after college. You’re allowed to make mistakes - that is part of growing up. But we need to learn that mistakes happen and not to let them pull you down. Take them and roll with it, make a better situation for yourself! It’s the first year: you’ve got time to fix it all.

12. Your freshman year of college does NOT have to be the best year of your life.

You will probably expect to come into college and leave for Thanksgiving break with your entire four-year schedule planned out, a new squad, and killer reputation. The reality is that sometimes change is hard. There are so many challenges and opportunities for growth, but growth isn’t always fun either. This is not meant to scare anyone; because don’t get me wrong, the first year of college is a BLAST! This is just a thought meant for you to tuck away, so that when you have a bad day, which everyone has, you don’t feel like the only one on the planet who considers dropping out of college and moving to a remote island to live life with monkeys and mangoes. Plus, since freshman year is over, you’re no longer the new kids. You know your way around and get to be the ones to show the freshman how it’s done. So be patient. The best years are yet to come.