Remember in middle school when getting a Facebook was a major sign of growing up? You and your friends wrote on each other's "walls" every day just to say hi. You played FarmVille and Happy Aquarium in your free time and felt no shame requesting things from friends. However, sadly, as we grew up, so did Facebook. Here are 10 thoughts that might run through your head as you scroll down your News Feed.
1. Oh, pictures!
As you begin your moderately paced scroll down the never-ending Facebook News Feed, you stumble upon a newly uploaded photo album of someone you wouldn't necessarily say hello to on the street. You excitedly open the album to see all of the things said person has been up to: traveling, partying and living life ... Of course. You're thoroughly enjoying the experience until you realize you're 20 photos deep.
2. Why am I such a stalker?
This next thought is an inevitable one. If it isn't the fact that albums just beg you to look through them, the ease of access to people's lives makes it nearly impossible to be considered anything but a stalker, so you accept it and keep scrolling.
3. Ew why is this article on my News Feed?
As you continue your descent down the pages and pages of ads, statuses, etc. you start to see articles and picture lists plaguing your News Feed. As any curious adolescent, you start to read random articles that catch your attention before you come across one of those repulsive articles with a gross picture of some obscure disease on someone's arm.
4. Wait, do I even know anyone in this picture?
Scroll, scroll, scroll... you're looking at pictures and updates when suddenly you realize that you don't know anyone in that picture that popped up. You look at the name only to realize it's some girl you drunkenly met at a party and you both thought it was a good idea to add each other. But, hey, what's another person to stalk?
5. Should I like this or is that too personal?
It's that time of the month when all of a sudden it seems everyone is changing their profile pictures. You come upon an almost friend. To like or not to like - that is the question. Well you don't really know them at all, but would you say hi to them on the street? If yes, like it; if no, keep scrolling.
6. I'll just like it on Instagram?
If you realize it's a little too invasive to like their profile picture or any picture for that matter on Facebook, that's what Instagram is for!
7. Why do I even still have a Facebook?
As you quickly go check Instagram and throw your not-so-close friend a like, you begin to ask yourself, "Why do I even still have a Facebook?"
8. Oh my god, I didn't know (blank) was pregnant!
As you dejectedly continue scrolling, you see a sonogram picture of some quiet girl from high school who is now apparently pregnant. Suddenly, you remember why you keep your Facebook: to stalk all of those people who went to your high school that you never talked to.
9. Okay, back to scrolling
With a sudden burst of motivation, you continue scrolling until you are forced to wipe your eyes because they hurt from looking at your screen for too long.
10. Wow, I just killed 20 minutes sliding my fingers on my phone, I need to reevaluate my life.
Yeah, I don't know what to say about this one.