Going to a private school for most of my whole life taught me so much about how to dress appropriately. I learned so many lessons from my frequent trips to the office for my dress code violations on how to dress so the young men around me don't "stumble."

I thought I'd share with you the 10 things I've learned from my high school dress code.

1. Shoulders are the most sexual part of a women's body.

So cover them up so those boys don't stumble.

2. Showing your bra straps suggests that you are ACTUALLY wearing a bra...who knew?

So cover up those vile sexual pieces of fabric, ladies!

3. The fingertip shorts rule is always correct and never objective.

4. We don't need to teach boys self-control.

We just need to teach girls how to dress and not distract the boys. It's socially acceptable to let guys judge women and what they wear.

5. Yoga pants and leggings are unacceptable.

They are not to be classified as pants because they cause boys to "stumble."

6. Teachers are exempt from the dress code.

They are TOTALLY allowed to wear a short skirt and call you out on yours. The rules do not apply.

7. Tattoos and piercings are tacky and you will never get a job if you have them.

Ignore the fact that your graphic design teacher has a sleeve.

8. My dress code taught me great creativity.

I can proudly say that I am an expert on finding loopholes.

9. Making girls change into distinct "scarlet letter" clothing who violate the dress code is perfectly acceptable.

It is not at all demeaning or embarrassing to a young girl's self-esteem.

10. Forcing dress code violators to miss class to go to the office and/or go home is completely acceptable.

They are a distraction and are in no way themselves trying to get an education.

In all, to avoid any dress code violations, you might as well just wear a paper bag to school next time you have the chance...like us in the picture below. In the end, you're going to school to learn not to distract.