I am currently studying abroad for my third time (yes third) in Perugia, Italy. When I tell people that, they generally are surprised. One girl, most recently, asked me how I could handle it. She told me she was having such a hard time adjusting and she couldn't imagine going through it two more times. I was surprised. This was not the normal 'oh my god this is your third time that's great' reaction I normally get. And I really thought about this girl's question. Why did I study abroad a second and third time? It isn't because all my study abroad experiences are magical and flawless. And that's when I realized that studying abroad is quite easy to do for the second, the third time, and why? Because hindsight bias. So if you are preparing to study abroad or are currently in your first few days/weeks, just know these are the 10 stages I have found you go through when you study abroad (the order may vary and stages may overlap depending on the person):
1. YAYYY I'm going abroad! *cue Facebook post*
You just got your acceptance. Or maybe it's a month before you go. The week before even. Everything is happy and exciting. All your family and friends are so excited for you! You're looking up images of the city you'll be in. Obsessing on what to pack. Imagining yourself meeting the love of your life.
2. Oh my god what was I thinking?
This might be the day before. The day of. The plane ride there. It might even come back within the first week. But you will have a moment of fear, of panic. It's normal. Accept it, don't fight it. But don't give into it either. Remember, the experience is what YOU make it! Everyone will feel this way. You're not alone.
3. This place is AMAZING!
Now you're out exploring. The city is amazing. It's all you ever dreamed it would be! Pictures can't do it justice, but you make a billion Instagram and Facebook posts anyway. Everything is knew and exciting. You can't believe THIS is where you will be living for the whole semester!
4. I am alone and I'm going to die alone with 500000 cats why did I do this my family and friends and life are so far away mom help me!
These are all dangerous thoughts that will probably rush through your head at a million miles per hour. Probably at night, or in the shower, or when you hear that the friends you thought you made went out without you. I'm here to tell you this: You will get through it. Having a meltdown isn't a setback. It isn't being weak. It is totally normal. This is my third time studying abroad and I still cried one night. And in both previous times I cried. Sometimes in the middle of the semester, sometimes more towards the end, sometimes at the beginning. It happens. It's okay. Your semester will still be amazing.
6. Why does everyone here always *insert random thing that never bothered you before but now does*
You may find yourself becoming more irritable in this stage. Things that locals do that once were enchanting and sweet are now just annoying. Not to say you won't have culture shock in the beginning. But if you have it later on, don't freak out! I find after I have a breakdown (Stage 5) I start to get more bitter. But don't worry. This does not mean all of a sudden you hate your new city. It just means that your having a bit of a hard time right now. And again, that's totally normal. Regardless of how long you've been there.
7. Spring break aka tour of Europe!
Wahoooo!!! It's break!! Now you get to finally take that trip you've been planning with friends/family! A couple pieces of advice I have in regards to spring break. Don't travel in large groups. Really I think even 4 people is pushing it. My favorite is 2. It gets hard. What do you want to do? Where do you want to eat? Also try not to treat this like it's your only trip to Europe. If you want to backpack after you semester ends do that! But don't try to cram 5 different cities into your 10 day break! Quality not quantity when traveling. Stay in one place, make it feel like home.
8. Can I go home yet?
This feeling may have come before, but I find it comes after spring break is over. Maybe you saw family or friends from home. Or maybe you just returned from vacation. Either way, I feel like spring break can bring on homesickness. It reminds you that soon you will be traveling home. Soon as in two months. That can be hard to deal with. Just remember this feeling will pass. You city is still amazing as it was back in stage 3.
9. I'm never going to be here ever again *shoves all food in face and buy all things*
I am veryyyyy familiar with this stage. This is the stage that leads me to coming home 15 pounds heavier than when I left, and totally broke. Or at least part of it. You want to go to all your favorite restaurants, cafes, bars! You realized you didn't get a present for your second cousin you never see but you're going to see when you give the gift you got for your first cousin's husband so you really should get them something! Listen, my rule is I make a strict list of souvenirs for people. And STICK TO IT! Obviously if something better comes my way, fine. If I know my sister will just love this one mug but originally I thought I'd get her a scarf, I'll get the mug instead. But my point is try not to overdue it in the last couple weeks. You have months of experiences. Enjoy your last few weeks, but within reason.
10. Can I go back?
Sometimes this happens to me before I even leave. I remember walking through the streets of Galway, literally touching the buildings. I wanted to remember every moment because I knew in 48 hours I'd be home, in my living room. A fact that used to comfort me when I was homesick, but now made me homesick in a whole different way. When my plane was landing in Boston I wanted to cry. I didn't want to be home. This place wasn't my home anymore. This feeling is normal. It's a feeling that everyone I know who ever studied abroad feels.
And this, this is why I study abroad so much. Because every time I reach this place of utter love and admiration for the place I was. The homesickness, the fear, the doubt, they were all worth it. So, if you are studying abroad or already abroad, I hope if you take one thing away from this article it is this: You will be more than okay.