One year ago today, I started a journey I never thought would change me as much as it did. I've gone through so much in the past year. I've grown so much in the past year. I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't go through the hurt, heart ache, failure and later on, success, that I experienced these past 12 months. It was one roller coaster of a ride and it isn't slowing down anytime soon.

August

Every emotion seems to be flooding through my veins: excitement, sadness, happiness, nervousness. I am saying goodbye to my family and friends back home and it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm finally realizing that moving 1,000 miles away from home is going to be tough. Still, I look forward to the future and what it has to offer. All I want is to press the fast forward button and reveal what this next step has in store for me. The blurriness of what's to come is frightening, but exhilarating at the same time. The goodbyes are tough, but I still have hope for this journey.

September

The goodbyes were rough, but being here, away from everyone is almost more than I can bear. The weight of being alone is pushing me down so far into the ground. I feel like I can't move. All my life I've dreamed of moving away. Now that I am here and all I want to do is go home. I don't know if I can do this. The future I had trouble seeing before has become an even more clouded mess of dark shades. I feel lost and confused and heart broken. I need my family and my friends. Everyone is telling me to stick it out a little bit longer. Hold on a little tighter. I am gripping it as hard as I can, but no matter how hard I hold on, this place feels like it'll never be home to me. I am lost.

October

It's still hard, but it's getting easier. I don't like where I am and I know that, but working towards something is helping the pain. I have applied for the Disney College Program, a dream of mine for almost seven years. The application process is difficult and competitive. It is long and I'm trying my best to have patience. I know that everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan for me. I just hope this fits into His plan.

November

I am so lost. I am lost beyond comprehension. I have failed. I did not get into the Disney College Program. Something I have been dreaming about for so long, something I never doubted I wouldn't be able to do, is now out of reach. I didn't do it. I failed. And now I don't know what to do. I am so far off the beaten path. As a last resort and so I don't have to stay at a school I hate being at, I apply to University of Central Florida (UCF), my dream college. It's past the application deadline for spring and the chances of me getting in at this point are slim, but I have to try something. God, help me find my way again.

December

It's the first birthday I'm not home with my family. My friends make it the best birthday possible for me, but it's still not the same. Come December 14th, however, I feel like I can breathe again. I am back home with my family and friends, and the spirit of Christmas is all around us. I still haven't heard from UCF and I'm starting to worry I'll have to spend another semester at a school I hate being at. But just a few short days before Christmas, I get the news I've been waiting for. I did it. I made one of my dreams come true after all. I got into UCF, majoring in hospitality management. For the first time in the longest time, my blurred future started to clear up. I could start to see again. And although it wasn't a huge change, the part of me that I lost is starting to find its way on the path again.

January

I am scared. Five months ago, I was in this same position. A new school, a new place, new people. I was so optimistic back then, and it smacked me in the face. I am so scared that this, along with everything else, will fail too. But after settling into my new apartment and meeting my new roommates, I know right from the start, this is different. I am happy here. I love the people around me who are welcoming me with open arms, and I love the school I'm at. I still miss everyone at home, but another lost piece has found its way back. I am starting to rebuild.

February

I could not be happier. Things are finally starting to look like the future I had hoped for. Along with this, the Disney College Program applications opened again for next semester. I am nervous to apply again. Getting denied the first time broke my heart. I failed and it was one of the worst feelings in the world. I never expected it and I never want to go through that again. But I remember how many times Walt Disney himself failed. If he had given up the first time he had failed, then he would have never been the legacy he is now. I have to try again, even if it means risking another failure.

March

I did it. I did it. I did it. I failed and I got back up. I fell, brushed myself off and ran as fast as I could to the finish line. I did it. I made my dream come true. I have been accepted into the Disney College Program and starting August 15th, I will be a Cast Member. I cannot believe it.

Things at UCF have been going great. I love it here and I love who I have become. I am growing and becoming stronger everyday. I am a better me.

April

It's getting hard again. I miss my family and friends. I am afraid that life back home is going on without me. I am afraid that everyone will get used to living without me there. I am afraid they won't miss me anymore. I am no where near as lost as I was a few months ago, and I still have the love and support of everyone here in Florida, but I miss home so much.

May

I never thought I would be sad to leave Florida and my college after my experience during my first semester, but I am. I will miss everyone I have gotten close to during my semester at UCF. They truly have become a second family to me and saying goodbye to them is difficult. I know that I will see them in a few months, though, so that makes it easier. On the bright side, I am going home! I am seeing my parents, sister, family and friends for the first time knowing that I won't have to say goodbye to them for a while. Summer is fast approaching and I cannot wait for all the adventures it has in store.

June

Summer has arrived! With it comes all the promises of growth and adventures to experience. Being reunited with my family and friends makes my heart so full. It feels like old times and I hold my breath with anticipation as I pray these next few weeks be filled with wonder and joy.

July

Another tough one. We are selling our childhood home and my parents are moving down to Florida, a dream they have had for a very long time. We have our last 4th of July party, which has been an annual event at the Davis household ever since I was young. It's an emotional day, filled with happiness, sadness, worry and nostalgia. It's the first time it hits all of us that we are actually saying goodbye to our home. For the first time since last September, I feel an overwhelming sadness. But because I've been through it before, I know I am strong enough to get through this.

August

This month holds the same amount of endless opportunities as last August did. I am going to a new place, with new people and new experiences. I am nervous, but I am no longer scared. I know that whatever happens, I can get through it. My blurred future is no longer clouded, but rather painted in swirls of bright colors. I still don't know what it has in store for me, but whatever it is, I know it will be exciting and wonderful, even if at times it is difficult. I am on the brink of my dream coming true, and as nervous as I am that it will not be everything I hoped it will be, I know without a doubt, it will be everything I need it to be. I trust now in the plan that God has for me, whatever it may be. With Him, my future is painted in swirls of color and my life is filled with love. That is all I need. I have been found.

This past year has been a roller coaster, without a doubt, one that is still flying away. I have felt every emotion there is to feel. I've felt the highest highs, the lowest lows. I've experienced failure and success. I've known the worst heart break. I've also known the purest and most magnificent joy. I know that this particular journey isn't over yet, and with that, more sadness may follow. But I am strong now and I know I can get through anything.

One year. One year to feel a million different emotions. One year. Two colleges. A couple failures. A couple more dream come trues. If this year has taught me anything, it's to not give up, that anything is possible and that, while our futures are unknown, they don't have to be clouded and blurry. They are painted swirls filled with the most wonderful and beautiful possibilities this world and God could offer.

So this next year, whatever loops, drops and corkscrews you have got in store for me, I'm ready. Bring it on.