I have finally turned 20. And even though it doesn’t seem like a milestone to many, it definitely was for me. Sure, nothing special happened; I still can’t legally drink or go to the casino, but becoming two decades old made me begin to re-evaluate my life. I started to think about why I’m getting forehead wrinkles and why certain things didn’t make me laugh like they did when I was 18. I also managed to squeeze in the time within my busy schedule to think about my love life and what it really means to me.

While talking with a close friend, she opened up and explained her views on telling someone that she loved them. She mentioned that she fears the word love, and that it can change everything in a relationship. While I agree with her that saying “I love you” can upgrade a relationship to new, intimidating levels, I myself have never been afraid to say the words. I have never once thought that someone would feel bad after being told that someone loves them. Isn’t that all we want in life?

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We met in high school, and said “I love you” after only a month of dating. This had been the longest I had ever waited to say the words, and I felt sincerely proud of myself for not just wasting the word again on another heartbreak. Now looking back, I still do not regret my decision to say it so early, because I think it strengthened us as a couple.

We were able to grow together, while in love. We were able to express how much love we felt for the other through words and not just actions. This made the actions seem so much more important, because the beginning of our history was not solely based on cheap gifts and flowers. I don’t think that anyone should have to wait six months to a year to say “I love you.” Why wait? If you love someone, or think you love someone, why not just say it? It’s not like they are going to respond in disgust, or become angry and violent because someone cares about them.

As we have learned throughout life, love is shown in many forms. Sometimes through gifts, sometimes through words, but also through daily activities. If you’re afraid to say “I love you” directly, maybe try saying it in subtle ways. Like, reminding your loved one to stay warm, because you wouldn’t want them getting sick. Even making them breakfast before class or work will do just the trick to help express your love. People in my generation seem to be afraid to show people that they allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to feel wanted and adored. It’s a natural part of our being, so just go ahead and spread the love.

If I hadn't told my boyfriend that I loved him in tenth grade by my locker, I may not have been so lucky to still be with him. Maybe I would have gotten frustrated, waiting for him to say it first because that's what is “normal.” Maybe I would have read too far into our relationship and judged every detail so much so that I may have dumped him by the next week. It’s not worth the waiting and the anxiety.

However, I feel as though I have to add that even though it’s okay to say “I love you,” it’s also okay for your significant other to not say it back right away. If they hesitate and are too shy, or are not ready to respond the same way, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. People discover their love for others in different ways and at different times. So don’t get discouraged. Just keep on loving, and things will all work out.