I've heard people describe chickens as uninteresting, unintelligent, even bland. But those mother cluckers have clearly been in the wrong neighborhood. Since we can't all spend our mornings on an urban farm, I'm here to give you a peek in. As for what is laid out here -- even the revelation of some of my family's less than savory habits -- I have no regrets. YOLO.

Chickens tend to look at you as if they were enjoying a wondrous afternoon picnic and you stepped in the potato salad. Why this is, I can't say. It could be related to our proclivity for deep-frying them. Whatever the reason, chickens can be delightful, daunting or even delirious depending on the situation. I hope to enlighten you just a bit.

Firstly, chickens are closet-carnivores. Yup. You really can feed them anything and they'll eat it. Hell, they'll fight over it. We've given our chickens everything ranging from leftover spaghetti to overcooked chicken. If you don't tell them what they're eating, it's not really an abomination. Plus, the word "cannibalism" has so many negative connotations. Don't think of it as going against nature, but rather serving the environment. Less trash is good!

Secondly, chickens can make fantastic pets! If a chicken is truly hand-reared, it can be a very pleasant companion. We once had a hen who went by Flufflumpkins. She would follow us about as we did yard work. She slept on the woodpile outside of our family room every evening while we watched TV. She shared a food bowl with our yellow lab (and had dibs on all the ribs and donuts). She also enjoyed riding around on shoulders. She was a truly pleasant little creature, until a coyote snapped her up. That tends to be how it is with chickens. They don't get sick, they don't get injured. They're either alive, or they're dead.

That brings us to our next fact -- everything will eat your chicken. The family dog, the neighbor's cat, a passing raccoon, a bald eagle, a scrawny coyote. Anything that can kill them, will. Just this week, after a pen door was accidentally left open, five of my six half-grown chicks were slaughtered by the most monstrous coyote I've ever seen. It was a rather startling morning. I can only hope they went quickly. So keep the door closed, or the coyotes better fed.

On the off-chance that you decide to eat your pets -- a couple of things to be aware of. Firstly, there will be blood. Chopping the head off of a chicken is not a family activity. My mother discovered this firsthand when she invited my teenage brother and a few of his friends to watch her dispatch a rooster. They agreed, mostly to defend their manliness. At the end of the ordeal, at least one of the boys was unconscious. I felt sorry for him, but I think the chicken still had it worse.

I'm not sure which of you may be a budding urban farmer, and I don't want to know which of you is interested in consuming your family pet. What I can tell you is that raising chickens will bring you into close contact with the circle of life.