The Runner

So it's 9:58 a.m. and you're roughly eight minutes from class. No problem; it's a nice casual walk the rest of the way there. Suddenly you feel a rush of air and your adrenaline starts pumping; you turn to see what caused the anxiety, and it turns out that it was just some jerk running to class. I guess 9 minutes early is basically the same thing as late to some people.

The Biker

There are two types of people in this world: those who ride bikes to class, and those who are worthy of life. Maybe that's a bit harsh, but there's nothing worse than the smug, ill-deserved, ego of the biker. You have to admit this, we all hate bikers. And if you don't, you're one of them. And you're a part of the problem.

The Still-Drunk

The second biggest menace on campus, aside from the bikers. Can you really blame them though? Some have no tolerance when we get back on campus. And most of us won't admit it until we awkwardly stumble into our 10 AMs.

The Entire Freshman Floor

The best part of this group is that they think they're such great friends because they're all in Gen Chem. I'll give it two weeks before half of them drop premed, and another week before they only ever see each other on the walk back from night exams.

The Couple That Has Morphed Into a Single Person

You can never be sure whether to be impressed or disgusted by these people, but I'm going with disgusted. Why can't they be sad and alone like the rest of us? Your happiness is bad for my health, why can't you respect that?

The Texter

Reality is pretty boring, and I can totally understand that whatever the Fat Jewish just put on Instagram is more exciting than the bunny statue's new sweater, but I'm not going to be as understanding when you walk into the bunny and it takes you out. Although that may be a good way to make some money by suing the school.

The Completely Lost

Luckily for this person, you can download all the maps you could ever need and pretend to text while using them on your phone. Less luckily for this person, most of us don't also have a map taped into the inside of our planners.

The Walker

Oh walking to class, how high and mighty of you. Just stay out of my way because if I run into you while sending drunk texts from my bike, it's not going to be a good day for either of us.