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What Elves Do On December 26

It involves making fun of "Elf on a Shelf."

Annelise Kollevoll

Dec 29, 2015

University of Virginia

599

Elves work really hard all year, but how do they enjoy themselves after the December 25 comes and goes? Whether it's after-Christmas sales, tropical vacations, or just napping, here are some of the things I imagine the elves are up to on December 26.

1. Celebrating their Christmas:

Surely the elves celebrate Christmas too, right? Here's the big question: Do they make their own gifts, or do they order everything on Amazon? I'm sure the drones ship to the North Pole.

2. Watching Christmas movies about elves and laughing at inaccuracies:

I don't know what they'll pick out, but I've got to believe elves enjoy mocking our portrayal of them. Maybe they even have a little too much eggnog and pretend they're Will Ferrell.

3. Snapping their "Elf on a Shelf" in compromising positions:

I like to think that real elves find our notion of traveling elves from the North Pole magically sold in Barnes & Noble about as ridiculous as it sounds. I picture them photographing elves on shelves in all sorts of compromising situations and sharing them on elf social media (Elfbook?).

5. Sleeping until next year:

Making enough toys for all the world's children (even if it's only the world's "nice" children) proves no small task. The elves probably work longer hours on less sleep than all our finals studying combined, so on December 26 they might just want to sleep until 2016.

6. Jamming out to Adam Sandler's "Chanukah Song":

If movie portrayals prove accurate, then elves listen to Christmas music all day, every day. That's why, when they get a day to choose the music, they want to twerk to the least Christmas-y song possible.

7. Shopping the after-Christmas sales:

You know that short guy who cut you off in the Bloomingdale's parking lot -- he's an elf. Elves have no other time of year to get in their shopping (believe it or not, they don't like wearing red unitards when not at work) so they hit up the after-Christmas sales to get the best deals just like we do. Plus, they can use their elf costume to pretend they worked as Santa's helper at the department store to score an employee discount.

8. Go on vacation:

As wonderful as we might think it is, the North Pole is cold and in the middle of nowhere. An elf needs to get away from it all. I imagine Santa getting back on December 26 and all the elves grabbing one of his reindeer or maybe hopping on a flight. So next time you spot a little person in the airport, don't give him your new Christmas list -- even Santa's helpers need a week off.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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What Elves Do On December 26

It involves making fun of "Elf on a Shelf."

1. Celebrating their Christmas:

2. Watching Christmas movies about elves and laughing at inaccuracies:

3. Snapping their "Elf on a Shelf" in compromising positions:

5. Sleeping until next year:

6. Jamming out to Adam Sandler's "Chanukah Song":

7. Shopping the after-Christmas sales:

8. Go on vacation:

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!