What Drink Would You Share With Each Presidential Candidate?
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

What Drink Would You Share With Each Presidential Candidate?

No hard feelings, candidates. You’re all gonna need a drink after this is over anyways.

45
What Drink Would You Share With Each Presidential Candidate?
Inside Gov

A professor once told me that you want to choose a president that you could see yourself sitting down and sharing a beer with. I suppose it shows an excellent sense of friendship and trust to share a beer as a grown adult, but college kids will tend to drink whatever with whoever. Now that six candidates have dropped out, it’s getting down to the wire. Since all of these men and women have made it this far, each presidential candidate deserves their own drink, specifically set for them. You’re welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Bottoms up!

1. Bernie Sanders

I would take shots of something warm with Bernie because you’ve gotta “feel the Bern.” But I have to rag on him a bit: Since he looks like a bottle of Everclear, that’s what we’re drinking. We should both prepare to die.

2. Donald Trump

I’d try to drink a beer with Trump, simply because beer is good. But, as a woman, I’m not sure if he’d let me enjoy a “man’s drink.” I might have to drink a daiquiri instead. Oh well.

3. Hillary Clinton

There are enough pictures of Hillary throwin’ ‘em back, but you mostly see her drinking Presidente. I guess that’s fitting because she wants to be the “presidente” and all.

4. Jeb Bush

After almost flunking out of college, Bush spent time in Mexico. And got... married? I mean, cheers to you I guess! Here’s a shot of tequila.

5. Ben Carson

You little neurosurgeon, you. I’m sure Dr. Carson doesn’t even drink regularly. Just you wait, you will be taking shots if you become president, I promise. But, Mister “America’s Doctor,” could you handle absinthe? I’ve read that stuff can make you hallucinate. Talk about brain problems.

6. Chris Christie

Christie has never been shy about his love of food, so Pinnacle is the way to go. With all of their bizarre flavors, like every kind of cake ever made, he’s bound to love sharing a drink with me!

7. Ted Cruz

Born in Canada, eh? You can try to be a Texan, but born a Canadian, always a Canadian. We can share a maple leaf cocktail. I actually had to google Canadian drinks because, well, I’m American. But, this drink looks yummy. Go Canada!

8. Martin O’Malley

Mom? Is that you? Wow, what unfortunate letter choice. Hmm, moms always drink white wine. We can share a bottle of Charles Shaw “two-buck Chuck,” which is really three dollars now, so I’m spending big money on you, O’Malley. You’re welcome.

9. Carly Fiorina

Called the “worst CEO of her era” when she worked for Hewlett Packard, why should she deserve a drink? Despite her shortcomings, she did battle breast cancer. So you go, girl. Let’s share a martini.

10. Rand Paul

Since Paul is an ophthalmologist and a supporter of legalizing marijuana, I think he’d prefer something other than a drink if you know what I mean. He’d rather celebrate me having 20/20 with a little 4/20.

11. Lindsey Graham

Graham’s passion for religion may try to stop us from enjoying a mixed drink at a bar, but I’ll secretly chug Communion wine with you in the back pew.

12. Mike Huckabee

Since you’re currently being sued by Frankie Sullivan for playing his band’s song “Eye of the Tiger” at the Kim Davis rally, I believe that you would prefer an alcoholic drink right now. But we’re going to share an energy drink because you’re going to need some fuel for court.

13. Rick Santorum

Since Santorum is so anti-gay, I think it would be funny to trick him into meeting me at a gay bar, while I wait for the bartender to offer him a cosmo, on the house of course.

Enjoy all of the drinks and my amazing company, candidates. But, no hard feelings. All things are fair in love and war (and cocktails). You’re all gonna need a drink after this is over anyways.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

51640
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

33146
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956112
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181038
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments