How many times have you regretted showing your parents a picture on Instagram? Every time? I know—I feel your pain. It’s never a quick process. When you show your friends a picture on Instagram they say, “Cute!” and move on. Done. The moment is over. When you show your parents a picture on Instagram, you have to give them the full rundown on who’s in the picture, who posted it, what Instagram is, and why all of that matters while simultaneously making sure they don’t screw up and double tap a 52 week old pic of your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, which they always inevitably do. Go easy on them though—it isn’t their fault they don’t know how to use technology. I mean, we’ve only explained it and answered their questions 100 times! If they haven’t gotten it by now, there’s no hope. We’re just going to have to accept that bad things will happen when we hand them our phone. Hopefully, not everything on this list will happen at once, but I mean, who knows?

1. “Hold on I can’t see. Let me zoom in.”

Mom! No! Stop trying to zoom in on Instagram!! We’ve told you this time and time again, but what is the first thing you do when we show you a picture? You tap your fingers on the screen and try to zoom in! Do you have any idea what this can lead to?

2. "What does it mean when the heart turns red?"

Tapping your fingers on the picture causes you to like it! Who knew? Not my parents, even though this (obviously) happens every time. Please stop accidentally liking people’s pictures. Your careless finger tapping is causing social suicide.

3. “I don’t recognize her. Do you know that girl?”

No—I don’t know that girl. On Instagram, you can follow whomever you want. That’s right—even people you don’t personally know. The Internet is a scary place.

4. “Can they see your pictures?”

No, they can’t see my pictures. We talked about this. Remember, I told you my account is on private? I can see them; they can’t see me. No, it’s not creepy, even when you put it like that.

5. “Who are these people again?”

By that, you mean for me to give you their first name, last name, where I met them, if you have ever met them, what they’re like, where they live, what their parents do, and the list goes on. What ever happened to just pretending you remember them, like at Aunt Jane’s annual Christmas cocktail party?

6. Wow, you look so tan!”

Nope. Just a filter, guys. Still your friendly neighborhood ghost.

7. “#Hashtag. Get it?”

Oh, yeah. I got it the first time when it wasn’t funny. Good one. #Pleasestop

8. “So, that’s what Instagram is? It’s just pictures and no writing?”

Ah, full circle… Forget it... just give me back my phone.