I will own up to it and admit what no one wants to nowadays. I love love. I adore love stories. Since before I can remember I was obsessed with Disney movies about princesses and princes ending up together despite the efforts of an evil queen. As a teenager I would read love stories constructed flawlessly by Nicholas Sparks. These love stories I admired were not only fictional ones in far away places. I hear love stories all the time. I hear stories from my grandparents who wrote love letters to each other for years because an ocean separated them. I hear stories from my parents about having to nervously call one another’s house phone to ask to go on a date.
Then I got to college, eager to see these magical romances first hand. So I listened to stories from my friends. I can assure you they are a little different than the fairytale love I had become so accustom to. Their stories talked about Netflix and Chill “dates,” texts saying hey at 2AM, liking of Instagram pictures, and the occasional Snapchat conversation. How romantic.
I am disappointed in my generation. We have a huge problem with dating. That is mostly because we do not actually date. We “hang out” instead. We “talk” for months to prolong the process. We hookup and then don't say hello. (Just a newsflash: if someone has seen you naked, they can say hello to you in the daylight).
I often ask myself why is it this way? What is to blame here? What changed from the days of love letters across and ocean? Everyone first blames technology, which yes, is true. Smartphones and social media influence how we act and our relationships. We get a false sense of security from ‘Likes’ and profile views. Yet, I think I know the real answer. This is each and every millennials fault.
I know it is even hard for me to accept that I am part of this problem that I hate and complain about daily. Yet, we must accept that we have done this to ourselves. Ladies, we stopped expecting respect. Gentlemen, you have stopped giving respect. If a guy opens the door for us or brings us flowers we think he is a desperate creep. If we get complimented we think it has a hidden agenda. We do not expect our date to meet our parents first. We do not even expect them to come to the door, a simple text saying ‘here’ is good enough. We get overjoyed when we are asked to go to the dining hall for a meal rather than to a restaurant for a real meal. We run away from the guys or girls that want to commit and into the arms of yet another player or flirt.
Here is how we turn it around. First and foremost, demand respect. If someone is not treating you the way you want and deserve to be treated then let them go, because they never will. Second, make sure to look at who is right in front of you, date a person who has common interests and beliefs with you. Third, remember that no one finds their husband or wife at a sweaty frat party. Fourth, say how you feel, ask him or her on a real date. Our generation has the ability to create just as beautiful of love stories as the ones that have come before us. But no beautiful love story starts with a text at 2AM.