Why Coffee Is Better Than People | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Why Coffee Is Better Than People

It has your back.

35
Why Coffee Is Better Than People

You look forward to spending time with it. It brightens your day more than a new episode of "Parks and Recreation." You cannot fathom ever having to live without it. Its smooth, dark mixture is more appealing than your last relationship. It’s coffee. Many people could not function without their morning coffee, including myself. When you heavily rely on coffee, though, your necessary morning coffee becomes your midday coffee, afternoon coffee, and evening coffee. Eighty percent of the time, I prefer coffee over any other beverage. One hundred percent of the time, I prefer coffee over people.

It always responds to me when I want it to. If I want coffee when I wake up, I can set the coffee pot to brew at 6 a.m. What if I want coffee in the afternoon? I can set that beautiful little machine to start brewing again at 3 p.m. It won’t ever ignore me. It won’t ever forget about my needs. It won’t ever leave me guessing.

Coffee is dependable. If at any time throughout the day I feel my body dragging, guess who is always there to pick me back up? Yes, coffee. It will always do its job. Coffee? Dependable. The person who never answers your texts in regards to your group project? Undependable.

Even bad coffee is good coffee. Coffee comes in many different types. You have French pressed, cold brewed, standard dripped, single serve… The list goes on and on. The beauty of the matter is that they all taste great. People, however, work a bit differently. Bad people are not good people. For example… Louisiana politicians? Pretty bad. The complimentary coffee you get in the lobby while you wait for your car oil to be changed? Still pretty darn good.

It can fit in travel mugs. People don’t fit in travel mugs. I pretty much always have a travel mug of coffee with me. It is literally liquid happiness that helps me get through my day. People? Not only are they awkward to fit into small spaces, but they also are not liquid happiness. Also, if I’m being completely honest, I wouldn’t want anyone to accompany me everywhere I go.

It doesn’t judge you for not being a morning person. Coffee won’t pester you right when you wake up. It won’t get offended when you roll your eyes at other people who love mornings. It won’t take the blankets off of you before you’re ready, and it surely won’t open the curtains to let the light in. Coffee has your back. It doesn’t jump in your face and scream, “Wake up!” It gently pats you on the back and says, “Hey, girl. Let’s take things slow.”

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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