There is really no denying it — going through recruitment is a stressful and scary process, and most women share the same concerns when it comes to the nitty-gritty details of joining a sorority.
What if I don't get a bid?
Are there a lot of mandatory events?
What is a philanthropy?
Along with the sheer panic and nervousness from these eager women, there is a question I have been receiving more often as I approach my senior year of college, a question I had never thought much of until now.
"Are there girls you don't get along with in your sorority?"
At first I honestly laughed it off, because of course, in an organization of one hundred or more people, there is no promise that every single person will be best friends. Sure, we all have the same core values, but that doesn't mean we don't have the occasional argument now and then. I mean, let's be realistic here — not everyone agrees all the time, regardless of what organization you are a part of.
In fact, I often compare Greek organizations to large businesses. If we were all employees of a company, there would be no guarantee we would all get along despite our shared interest in the company itself. Everyone has their differences in leadership style and personality, and that's just something we learn to deal with time and age.
However, the more I delved into this topic, the more I realized the fear was less about the principle and more about the drama. These potential new members asking the question weren't afraid of having a few disagreements here and there; they were afraid of being bullied. They were afraid of that group — the ones who intimidate, the ones who belittle, the ones who make you feel like an outsider.
Did anyone else just have a flashback from high school?
The last time I checked, the core goals of a Panhellenic organization thrive on sisterhood. And if we aren't promoting that currently or correctly, then I propose we start.
There are plenty women who get a kick out of playing the role of "Queen Bee" in their everyday life. Of course, the issues of bullying among women aren't only related to sororities. This type of mean girl behavior exists in everyday life, and it is getting to a point where even the media promotes it. There is false sense of power presented in breaking down a person's self-confidence, and it shouldn't be that way.
So, what do we do? Start with our own chapters.
It's important that we address this culture and create an environment within our chapters that nurtures the ideals of sisterhood.
But how do we do this? I'm glad you asked.
1. Uphold your chapter's values every day.
We discuss their definitions, we memorize them, and we recite them when needed. But what are we really developing within our chapters if we aren't teaching examples of what it really means to be a [insert your sorority's name here]? We joined Greek life to enhance our college experience and to become a better woman, and living your values is the first step.
2. Reflect on your own behavior.
It all starts with reflection. Maybe you said something you know you shouldn't have or had a falling out with someone recently. Look at your actions to see if something could have been handled better or differently. Many times tone and word choice can come across more intensely than you might realize. Make apologies when necessary.
3. Promise to influence more positive behavior within your chapter.
Talking behind people's backs is likely at the core of all drama in your house. By shutting down gossip and encouraging sisters to speak to one another directly or with standards about the issue, you will ensure that drama does not infect the whole house and, in turn, allow other members to insert their own bias and opinions into the situation. Members shouldn't have to pick sides — this is a sorority, not a political campaign.
I love my organization because I found women who would stand beside me in support. I can only hope I am giving them the same level of love they have given me. It's important that we strive for the best, not only for our chapters, but also for ourselves.
In closing, let's work on our sisterhood, ladies — at the local, national and Panhellenic level. Let campuses all over the nation be full of rainbows and smiles.
