One single trait is so important in every relationship on earth. It takes time to peel back the layers of this trait. It is difficult to earn, yet it can be lost in a matter of seconds. Some may say it's honesty, some may say it's communication, but I believe it to be trust. According to dictionary.com, trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. When you trust someone, you give them your confidence, your grace, your passion. You basically give them everything you have.
Throughout life, trust is given, earned and lost. But why do people give it away so easily? How can it be lost so quickly? Why is it so hard to earn back? I used to go into relationships with friends or significant others with an open heart. I do not normally feel the need to be guarded. I want them to see me for who I am, my fears, my desires, and qualities I strive to maintain. If I am guarded, I feel like they won't get an accurate depiction of me. They might tend to believe that I am something that I am most definitely not or fall in love with the wrong person. So in my case, trust is given right away. Now, it is up to the other person if they get to keep it or not.
There are many possible ways to lose trust in relationships. It could be because of a little white lie that turned into a big mess, a betrayal, or heartbreak. It could because you did indeed give the other person everything you have, hoping they would be careful and not hurt you, but they did without intending to in the first place. But once it is lost the first time in any situation, a shield is placed over the heart and trust is hard to earn again.
From that point on, relationships become scarier and scarier. There will always be a speck of doubt in your thoughts. Will this happen again? What did I do to deserve this? Will this doubt ever leave? After this happens in my experiences, I go into relationships with friends or significant others, guarded. Yes, I know I said before that I didn't like this because they do not get to see the real me, but I believe they eventually will over time. In this case, trust is now earned. It is their job to show me that they won't hurt me by peeling back my personality, struggles, fears and desires layers at a time. As each layer is removed, a piece of the shield over my heart is removed. One day, all the layers will be gone and the heart can run like it was intended too. Love can now be allowed to enter into the crevices of my soul without feeling like it was the wrong decision. What can be better than this?
I know not everyone has the same ideas about trust as I do, but I believe it definitely can be given, earned and lost. No matter what way you choose, know that is OK to be completely open, completely guarded, or not willing to give it in any situation. That is what makes you who you are and one day, someone will love that person more than you ever thought possible. It could be a friend, it could be a significant other -- who knows? Just promise me that you will be yourself along the way. Don't ever change how you feel for someone else, especially regarding trust. Once it is lost, it is hard to get back, but I promise that doubt will escape eventually and you can be happy again. Trust love. Trust life. But do it on your own time!
