It's that time of year again. The outfield grass is mowed and the "smack" of balls hitting gloves echoes from the infield. It's softball season, and this is the first time in four years that I will not be a part of it. And yes, I miss it all — I miss my teammates and complaining about the practices that we secretly loved; I miss the late-game, high-pressure situations that bred champions. But as I look back and think of what parts of the game have stuck with me on a daily basis, I must say that I especially miss my coaches and the enduring advice that I learned through either their actions or their sayings.
1. How to be a leader.
From the several coaches I had the privilege to learn from during my high school softball career, I found one thing particularly interesting: Though they all head practically opposite coaching styles, each of them were effective in uniting a team and making us excited about our work. In my opinion, these are two of the most important goals a good leader can achieve, and I learned from the best. Following their examples, by the time I was co-captain my senior year, the other seniors and I understood the value and results of strong leadership thanks to our coaches, whether we realized it at the time or not.
2. I am a work in progress.
Learning this was quite the ego check if I've ever had one. As great as it feels to accomplish something that you have worked a whole month or season for, my coaches always reiterated what the next focus should be because there's always room for improvement. The stubborn player (aka, me about 90 percent of the time) may sometimes mistake this lesson as a sign of not being appreciated enough, but what that player fails to realize is that there will always be someone better than you at some aspect of the game or, as I've quickly realized, some aspect of life. My coaches taught me to strive to reach those heights and to do the little things well that will get you there.
3. Nothing worth having is given to you — you must earn it.
This really came into play during those dark periods where we would lose to one of the bottom teams in the district, or win the game by the skin of our teeth and be left reeling. No matter how good people may tell you that you are or how many awards you may have in your closet, you can be beaten or overtaken if you lack discipline. The discipline to never underestimate your opponent. The discipline to "give 200 percent, 100 percent of the time," as my coach would say. For me and my time, it was always made clear that nothing — not our position, our batting order slot or even our spot on the team — was guaranteed, and we were better because of it.
4. There's no crying in softball.
Have you tried this in front of a coach? I'll save you the suspense: you don't get near as much sympathy as you may expect. "Crying" may have come in the form of literal tears or constant apologizing for a mistake made during the game, but both forms yielded essentially the same response from each coach: "Do better next time." This policy is not intended to hurt feelings or minimize your frustrations, which is easy to make yourself believe. It is meant to break the habit of spending more time on wallowing than on focusing on future improvement and solutions.
5. Have a short memory.
This last lesson was a constant struggle all the way up until my last game, and it is a lot easier said than done. But it is so important. If I were to constantly think about all of the times in my past that I have screwed up or let someone down, it would be damn near impossible to get out of bed each morning. Memories of mistakes should be used for two reasons: to motivate oneself to do better and to learn from for future reference. While this still does not come naturally, it is still always in the back of my mind thanks to the constant reinforcement of my coaches.
Coaches are some of the best teachers that athletes will ever have, and so much of what they teach us transcends their sport. These lessons are among the many that I could not have learned as effectively without the dedication and caring of my high school softball coaches. For that, I and thousands of other athletes, I'm sure, are forever grateful.
