After leaving high school with my hands tied to no one, I was pretty much walking into college friendless. It sounds sad, but I actually had very positive attitude. It wasn't a bad thing at all. I was saying goodbye to having really terrible friends and saying hello to brand new faces. Anyone that I met from now on, I would truly try to connect with them and figure out who had genuine substance, instead of being surrounded by another crappy crowd.

I was watching "Gilmore Girls" while writing this article, so I thought some screen caps would help you relate a bit.

BRANCH OUT. Take a chance with people. I cannot stand cliques. Cliques make people feel bad. Point blank. You have your close-knit group of five, whatever. That’s cool. You do you. You should have your days when you only hang with your crew, of course. I’m not at all telling you what's right or what's wrong.

But in my opinion, you should branch out. ESPECIALLY after high school! Invite some people over that you usually wouldn’t. How do you expect to grow if you surround yourself with the same people, day after day? Take a new person to lunch. It's risky, but try making friends with a random person in class at the beginning of the semester. It's the best time to do it. I've made friends by just sitting in the same seats week after week. Give it some effort. A little bit is better than none.

A goal for my closest friends and myself this year is to get more involved. I don’t want to be limited to one or two options, but to instead drown ourselves in opportunities to make connections.

Stop trying to fit in with the wrong crowd.

Let me clarify. By “wrong,” I don't necessarily mean bad.

I used to consider myself a “misfit” or an “outsider” or the “weird” one. And in many ways, I am different and more outspoken than some of the people I know. I can see how that might be intimidating (by this I mean I might freak people out) for a group of introverts that hang out together. We are all different types of weird, and sometimes, two weird personalities are not the same and don't fit together. You think people could so easily get along, because you all love Jesus and you might have a few common interests, like playing video games or drinking coffee or going to the gym, but it takes more than that to create a real bond.

Sometimes you meet people and you might have one HUGE activity in common, but you are polar opposites. I feel like this could go one of two ways: It works out or it doesn’t.

For the longest time, while I was trying to fit into this specific group of people, I got really disconnected from my social life and myself because I didn’t fit in. At first I did, but then I started feeling excluded I was really angry because I thought I had found the friends I would have for a really long time. I was making myself angry at the world, so I would pray a little and ask God to help me move on. I knew I would probably close myself off, but I decided not to. It’s hard to want to fit in with a crowd of people because you like them so much and it doesn’t work out. A group of trustworthy people is hard to come by, and I didn’t want the opportunity to leave.

Unfortunately, we weren't a perfect match. That’s life, though. They're still good people, but we weren't meant to be friends.

You will find people that won’t make you sweat.

I had the worst friends in high school. But honestly, high school helped me distinguish fake (I absolutely hate this term) from real, and that comes in handy in college. It’s hard for me to make friends. Personally, I don’t get along with people my age often at all. It happens once in a blue moon. I’m very honest, and people my age are just so sensitive and I have to hold back. I don't really want to hold back. I want to be loud and bubbly and I want to make people laugh more than anything.

I just don’t think all friendships should be that difficult. I don’t think all friendships should make you feel out of whack, unbalanced, or alone. When you get close with some people, there will most likely be hard times, but not in every case. I don't think you should have tension in any way.

Now this part might sound silly. Usually with girls, we talk quite a bit. There might be tension with our choice of guys we like. If you have a bunch of girl friends that like the same type of guy as you, there might be a higher chance of jealousy. I have experienced this and it was awful. The girl friends I have now, let's just say our taste in guys is 100 percent different, and we all agree it saves us from some arguments. If you do have the same taste in guys, don't be an asshole and hit on your friend's dude.

I am confident that you will find friends that simply love you, regardless. Who push you toward success and who push you toward a better relationship with God, which is above everything on the list of what's important in a good friendship. There should be straight honesty from both sides. There should be no boundaries when something is wrong. If you are feeling hurt or upset, you shouldn’t have to worry about crossing any lines or feeling stupid if you need to confront your friend. A real, honest friend will hear you out and talk you through anything you need.

Quick tip: From past experience, if you get in an argument with a friend and he/she blows up on you in a way where he/she starts insulting you, calling you names, etc, please drop it. Walk away and consider dropping the friendship, too. There is no excuse for name-calling. It's tacky, uncalled for, and unnecessary. Don't hang around someone who just constantly degrades you.

A good argument is where you can sit and talk it through without being aggressive or destructive. Cool off before you talk. If you're talking with someone who genuinely cares about you, the conversation should go fine.

People will talk.

Gossip is a part of life. I don’t think there's any way to avoid it. If you bring up someone’s name that isn’t your own, whether it be positive or negative, it could end badly. We all do it, regardless of our reasons.

“So and so was talking about you.” OK LOL

Sometimes when you stop being friends with a specific person or a specific group of people, you end up being the subject of conversations that usually end up with some shit talk. People will wonder what your problem is, or people will seriously just be so rude and make stuff up instead of asking you what really happened.

We have a hard time believing people can gracefully move on from certain situations. It had to be something someone did to piss me off, right? But no, that’s not what it was.

Most of the time, I believe it’s just a feeling in your gut that is telling you these aren’t the people for you. If you have to hold yourself back in any way, or if you disagree with the way they live their life, or if you find yourself genuinely disliking someone’s company, the right thing to do is not put yourself (or them) through anymore of it, and walk away. Distance yourself. If the topic comes up, tell them the truth.

Or let’s just be real here, and say most friendships end nasty or with simple silence. I have no problem dropping a person silently if they are being toxic.

It’s easier to end friendships with honesty than causing yourself some trouble with a big group of people. Regardless, people are going to be butthurt, and they are going to talk. But the good news is that it always blows over.

It is totally OK to reflect on lost friendships, but don’t get caught up in them.

My old, former friendships are the reasons why I think I have such a hard time letting people really be my friends. Not that they were the worst people in the world or anything, they just taught me quite a bit. Mostly that I used to have crap taste, so I'm extra careful with not repeating history. If I see any old trait (like one that an old friend had) in a new person I meet, I don’t really let them in right away, just because there are some terrible habits that I know I can’t deal with anymore. I’m so picky with people I spend my time with, and I think it’s perfectly fine. I know what's healthy for me and what's not. I know what types of people are toxic, and I’m not afraid to just stop any progression before it has the possibility of growing. I used to be super into rescuing people. Not anymore.

The most cliche tip of all? BE YOURSELF.

Don’t EVER feel like you have to hold back who you are. Be outspoken if that's who you are. Say what you feel. Be silly. Just remember, be respectful. No one likes the loudmouth that always has a foot in their mouth.