To the girl who isn’t skinny enough,
If you’re anything like me, you are your biggest critic. No matter how much a person tears you down, you’ve already done more damage to yourself than they ever could. In fact, you don’t even need other people to say anything at all because you’ve already noticed everything that’s worth noticing (and even more than that) and have ripped yourself apart for it.
So here I am, a girl who gets it. A girl who understands what it’s like to skip meals and then hate herself when she does eventually eat. A girl who was so obsessed with being skinny that she couldn’t think about anything else. I am a girl who had an eating disorder and one who saw her worth in the size of her pants. Yes, I was that girl, and I am telling you that the body society wants you to have is not a healthy one, and it is not worth putting your life at risk to have it. Despite that, I also want to tell you that it is okay that you’ve fallen victim to the unrealistic standards and expectations of beauty society gives us. It is okay that you are hurting, and it is OK to feel like you are absolutely not OK.
Now, let’s get real for a moment.
From the time we are old enough to walk, we are already given an unattainable mold to fill. Whether it’s Ariel’s “flawless” body and perfect hair or Barbie’s impossibly long legs and tiny waist, we are taught to see these things as something to idolize. We are taught to seek a perfect body, and we are taught that appearances come before everything else. What we aren’t taught is that being independent, capable, and strong are far more important qualities than being a size two. As women, we are given an impossible role to fill, and we are ridiculed and judged when we stray from the script. So, how could you be okay living according to these impossible expectations?
The truth is, you are not alone. So many share in your struggle, but not enough people are talking about it or reaching out. So, I am here to tell you that you are already so much better than what the world wants you to be. Really, you are. You are not an object, and you have more to offer than just your appearance. That makes you better. I know that the pain you feel is real. It is crippling, and it dictates how you live. The thing is, life is already hard. People who dislike you, judge you, and oppress you will come and go, but you are with yourself forever. Hating yourself for something as temporary as how you look makes a hard life a million times harder.
It’s time for you to be your own number one fan and want more for yourself than just being skinny. I won’t lie, it’s an uphill battle convincing yourself that you are good enough when the world is telling you that you’re not. But you owe it to yourself to be apologetically you and to give yourself a chance at being happy and healthy.
If you take nothing else away from what I’ve said, remember this: beauty is subjective. Society’s definition of beauty is unattainable and unrealistic. So, I’m asking you to take a stand. Be your own beautiful, and be proud of who you are. Change the definition for yourself and everyone else, and realize that your worth is not determined by the number on the tag in your clothes.
Sincerely,
The girl who finally loves herself
