“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

Trump's extensive knowledge on all things environmental and foreign relations really proves his competency. Last year, there were record snowfall and temperature drops across the country, clearly this “global warming hoax” has gotten out of hand.

"I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”

Building things and making other people pay for them, what could be better? I mean, watching the very talented Trump get down and dirty to build this great, great wall might be better, but you know what I mean. I vote we call this wall The Great Wall of Trump’s America!

“Our great African American President hasn't exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore!”

Being nondiscriminatory is Trump's best quality!

“Laziness is a trait in the blacks. […] Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.”

Again, Trump doesn’t see race, religion, ethnicity, or gender. He views and treats ALL people equally. What a guy!

“Rosie O’Donnell’s disgusting both inside and out. You take a look at her, she’s a slob. She talks like a truck driver, she doesn’t have her facts, she’ll say anything that comes to her mind.”

Trump is never hypocritical.

“All the women on The Apprentice flirted with me — consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

It is reassuring to know that Trump is prepared and experienced in all aspects of the position. (It’s probably his toupee, wait, I mean his real hair, that attracts the ladies.)

“If you can’t get rich dealing with politicians, there’s something wrong with you.”

He’s a true, very respectful, businessman. He will make this country lots and lots of money.

“No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses—one vaccine at a time, over time.”

It warms my heart to know that Trump is always looking out for the children, the future of America. His slogan should be, "TRUMP 2016: Children are NOT horses!" I’d be down to rock a bumper sticker, maybe even a t-shirt.

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what [the media] write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”

Well, at least we can assure he’ll be a phenomenal motivational speaker, to say the least. Also, glad to hear that he doesn’t take any of the global criticism he receives to heart.

“One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”

We know.