Judson St., Canton, NY—The mild-mannered, 41-year-old boy by the name of Michael ‘Mike’ Hawk soiled his parents’ trust Wednesday night as he carved open the back of his mother’s wardrobe to reach the fictional land of Narnia. Mike was led to believe the back of the mahogany wardrobe was a sort of portal which would deliver him to some land full of talking lions and Turkish delight.
Mike now faces the consequences of a two-week grounding and a restriction on all literature and media related to "The Chronicles of Narnia."
During an interview with Mike’s mother Michelle, we were able to learn more about the events leading up to the child’s irrational behavior.
“Mike is always such a sweet little tyke,” Michelle said. “We would have never expected him to act out in any way, especially like this.”
According to Michelle, a trail of kitchen utensils could be found leading up to the bedroom: tools Mike had used to reach his fairyland. “We found spoons and forks and on the staircase, and butter knives near the doorway to our bedroom. I was very scared, Mike was shouting the name ‘Aslan’ to the wall on the South side of the house.”
We were told other tools could be found inside of the bedroom, including power tools from the collection of Mike’s father Richard. Apparently Mike successfully broke through the back of the wardrobe with a cheese grater and jackhammer.
“I didn’t think he was capable of even lifting a jackhammer,” Richard said. “He’s just a boy after all.”
Incredible. However, why was Mike so bent on reaching Narnia?
Apparently the family had an argument earlier in the evening leading up to the incident. Michelle tells us that both she and Richard were concerned about Mike’s safety playing with some of his toys.
“All of his firetrucks have such sharp edges,” she said. “We took them away from him because we didn’t want him to hurt himself, you know? He’s barely 10 days old.”
A just cause for concern. In addition to understanding the chilling details of that horrid Wednesday evening, we wanted to find out how the Hawk family planned on fixing the damages. Richard tells us that Mike not only broke the back the wardrobe, he also wrote ‘I <3 Aslan’ in permanent marker on the wall.
“We support our child’s sexual orientation, whatever it may be. We just thought it would never come to talking lions,” Michelle said through choked back tears.
“We’ve all been there,” Richard added.
We all wish the Hawk family Godspeed on their recovery, and that Mike might one day reach his beloved Aslan. From Canton, New York, this is August Vitzthum with Channel 69 News.
