Though this is an unpopular opinion, I don't think anyone, male or female, is required to love the skin they're in.

While self-love and confidence are undoubtedly important for a healthy mind and body, limiting an individual to only loving themselves "the way they are" is both problematic and controlling. I'm well-aware that the entire "body positive" movement aims to raise people up as opposed to bringing them down, but realistically, not everyone will ever be able to love their body "as is."

If you take the time to actually think about it, you'll notice that pretty much everyone (most likely you too) modifies their body one way or another. While it doesn't necessarily mean undergoing radical plastic surgery, a modification is a modification, no matter how small.

So if you shave your legs, dye your hair, go to the gym to get (or stay) toned or have any number of piercings, you're one of those people who changes their appearance in order to feel good about it. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

That said, what, then, is the problem with supporting others who want to make more "intense" changes to their bodies?

Imagine this:

You have a good friend who's been uncomfortable with a certain aspect of their appearance for years. It doesn't deter them from going about daily life and, by no means, do they obsess over it. Still, though, that particular feature really eats away at both their confidence and self-esteem. You've witnessed it firsthand and you wish your friend would somehow realize just how beautiful they truly are. It never happens.

Fast forward a couple months and, one day, your friend tells you they finally have the means to surgically change, or enhance, that "problem area" of their body. You know it'll probably give them more self-confidence and you know that it's definitely what they want to do.

Yet, instead of supporting them, you say, "Don't change your (insert name of certain feature here)! You're beautiful just the way you are."

While the message, itself, is great, it's also unlikely to change your friend's mind. Though you probably mean well because, like most people, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or validate their flaws, you've essentially just dismissed your friend and all the negative feelings they harbor towards that particular aspect of their body. And to what end?

If someone thinks changing their appearance will boost their self-esteem, who am I to say, "Don't do that. You look great just the way you are!" Though it's a common response and maybe, to a certain extent, an automatic one—it's not actually helpful. By dismissing someone whose low self-esteem stems from the way they look, you're basically saying "get over it" in a nice way.

Instead, why not support them in making the changes they'd like to make?

While it's true that beauty isn't everything, there's no denying that it affects both the way other's view us and the way we view ourselves. Having said that, I don't think there's anything wrong with modifying your body to look the way you want to. If you think making those changes will make you more confident and boost your self-esteem, go for it!

That's exactly what I did when I turned 18.

I decided to undergo cosmetic plastic surgery to fix a certain "problem area" of mine and you know what? Four years later, I'm still elated about it. I have no regrets regarding my decision and that one, little surgery undid years of insecurity I felt surrounding that specific part of my body. Not only was I delighted with the results, I was also filled with an overwhelming sense of confidence I'd never before experienced.

Had I decided to simply try to "love the skin I was in," I can guarantee you that, to this day, I'd still be overwhelmed by both insecurity and negative thoughts. I'm much happier now that I've made the changes I wanted to make and I encourage everyone else to support their friends and/or family members in doing the same.

If you're able to "love the skin you're in," that's fantastic, but please don't dismiss those of us who can't. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, regardless of what they must first do to get there.