Warm Fuzzies
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Warm Fuzzies

The art of the compliment.

664
Warm Fuzzies

We all love getting compliments.

But I often wonder why we don't share compliments more freely. Why is it so hard to tell the people in our lives what it is about them that makes us appreciate their existence?

Take for example those "To be honest" statuses on Facebook. You know, where a person posts something along the lines of: "Like this status and I'll tell you what I like about you." How did we reach a point where we actually have to ask for likes on a Facebook status just to give a friend a compliment? We'll laugh about it, and yet we would still all like that status because we're humans, and humans like affirmation.

I recently pulled out my high school yearbook and read through the signatures my friends and classmates left for me. Even the notes from acquaintances I rarely talked to were so kind and meaningful. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside reading these messages. But I also felt sad. Sad because I wish I had known earlier how some of those people felt about me during the last four years we spent together. In the same way, I wish I had told them exactly what I loved about them.

So why exactly is it hard for us to master the art of the compliment? Here I reflect on the idea of compliments and what we can do to move towards more openly expressing our feelings, building better relationships, and living a happier, more fulfilling life.

Get Over the Fear

When it comes down to it, we are all afraid of vulnerability. Being open, understanding your own feelings, and then conveying them to another human being can be a huge feat to accomplish. We worry how our words will be interpreted. Will they think I'm obsessed with them? That I'm weird? Creepy?


I can't undermine the validity of these concerns. But it is important to recognize the astounding power a compliment can have. Affirmations from others give you insight towards how you are perceived and add to your self image. While compliments can be scary because of the power they hold, they can be powerful in a wonderfully positive way. Your one compliment can change someone's day in a manner that affects not only them but also everyone around them (think "Butterfly Effect"). To make the world a better place, we need to get over our fear of vulnerability and go ahead and give those genuine compliments without hesitation.

Learn to Accept

For some reason, accepting a compliment is hard. What do you say when someone compliments you? If you just take it, that somehow translates to your agreement and this tacit response is often interpreted as a bad display of arrogance or vanity.


When did accepting compliments become a test of modesty? If compliments are genuine, we should be allowed to take them and pay them back when we notice something we appreciate or admire in the other person. Instead, compliments have become a game of exchange where one person downplays the compliment then passes another one back without really thinking or meaning it.

If I compliment you, you don't have to reflexively tell me I also look cute (when in reality it's the day of my biochemistry exam and I've been lounging around in my sweatpants surviving on three hours of sleep). Instead, we should all learn to become comfortable to receive affirmation and pay it back when the compliment is genuine and real.

Dig Deeper

Honestly, everyone wants to hear how lost you get in their eyes, how bright their smile shines, and how on fleeky you think his/her eyebrows look. Sometimes, though, the most memorable compliments go beyond the surface. I mean, don't get me wrong. We all love being complimented on our appearance. Blame #science and #society.


Still, some of the best compliments I've ever received are those that have nothing to do with my appearance. I scoured the internet and also asked friends what the most memorable compliment they've ever received was. Here are some of the responses:

"You should write a book just about your thoughts. I would love to read it. You're very well spoken and funny, and I kinda want to get into your mind"

"The way you help others so selflessly makes me want to be a better person"

"Someone once told me: the way you can connect with people and make them feel comfortable amazes me."

"My coworker told me I smelled like corn chips."

So go ahead and put yourself out there. Tell your friend you appreciate how articulate, kind, fun, corn-chippy (OK, no), witty, and intelligent they are.

All in all, if we can just get past the initial fear of vulnerability, learn to take compliments, and be genuine, we can make the world a happier place -- one warm fuzzy at a time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

70875
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132465
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments