A few ways you can stay safe this spring break.
During our upcoming vacation all of us may not make the best decisions. According to a study at the University of Illinois almost a third of college student will have unprotected sex with someone they just met while on Spring Break. Clearly this can lead to the spread of some diseases that no one wants to deal with. Here are a few easy contraceptives to bring along for your time away.
CROCS: This is a surefire way to prevent the spread of STD’s. Putting on these bad boys will give you a disease-free bubble that stretches as far as you can throw one of them. Plan B is $50, but a pair of Crocs is $20 and reusable.
CARGO SHORTS: Not only are these extremely fashionable, but they contain some sort of secret anecdote in their multitude of unnecessary pockets. It has been said that this anecdote wards off all the diseases one could contract on Spring Break. The list of side effects are never-ending, but you will definitely come back to school clean.
EGO: I’m sure your major is really cool and all, but go away. No one on break will care at all about how hot your girlfriends are back at school, or how you rage more face at school than on break. No one. So this is an ideal strategy to deploy to prevent any infections you could get along with any friends you would have made.
Of course, none of these can be 100% effective. The only guarantee is abstinence, but these are pretty close. Have fun and be safe!
If you would like to follow me on Twitter (@SeussDiesel) and hear all about my Spring Break that’s too bad. I’m turning my phone off for the week. I plan on getting a job one day.