1. A$$hole. To this day, there has never been a worse person known to man than the d-bag. This guy just plain sucks. For starters, he will not bring you flowers, he will not buy you chocolates, and he will almost certainly show up half an hour late. Even worse, his idea of a nice date is inviting you over to his place to chill with the bros; and maybe, if you are lucky, staying after.
2. Cheapskate. Nothing makes a better first impression on a date than whipping out a coupon just before you go to pay. This guy’s idea of a coffee date is McDonald’s and when it comes to the tip you can forget it. He might actually be a really nice guy but don’t expect more than an extra value meal and something off the dollar menu for dessert. Just the thought of paying for someone else besides himself already stresses this guy out.
3. Procrastinator. There is no time like the present; too bad this guy doesn’t know that. You know those reservations you wanted at that fancy restaurant with the unbelievably long waiting list -- well, he probably never made them. The procrastinator will forget to call ahead every time, leaving you two lovebirds to spend your night inside of some sketchy bar or a fast food restaurant. At least you have options.
4. Hopeless Romantic. He is seen every romantic comedy out there and already knows what music he’s going to play at his wedding. This guy thinks he’s supposed to be some cross between Justin Timberlake and Ryan Gosling. He will try real hard to impress you with fancy chocolates, candles, flowers, cards, etc. But chances are, he will spend more time focused on that and less on having a good time with you. He will go above and beyond to impress you yet somehow will leave you astonishingly underwhelmed.
5. Still Stuck on His Ex. We all know that nothing makes a date more fun than being ignored when the other person gets to talking about any and everyone but you. We all get it; break-ups do tend to suck. But a date is no time to focus on your ex. If your plan is to leave the date equally as depressed as he is then this is the date for you.
6. Frat Star. You can always count on this guy to be the life of the party. He always has way too much energy, gets hyped for even the most insignificant events in life, and has a very relaxed work ethic at best. Frat Star will probably treat this date like he treats everything else in life. So you can bet he will pre-game the date. But knowing him, he’ll go a little too hard, pass out, and leave you to eat dinner alone at a fancy restaurant seated at a table for two.
7. Player. They say, "Don’t hate the player, hate the game." Whoever made that up has not met this guy. He sees himself as a god among men and a gift to women everywhere, but to him you are just another phone number. Sure, he might take you out on a date but it is highly likely he will dip out early for another one he has scheduled later that night.
8. Try Hard. To this guy, the words “do” and “less” come to mind. Even in the middle of winter, he can commonly be found in a tank top and a pair of obnoxiously bright Chubbies. And to top it all off, he does not hesitate to wear sunglasses even in the shadiest of places. One thing is for sure -- no expense will be spared with this guy. He will give you everything you expected plus some things you didn’t even want. There is no limit to what this guy won’t do. Too bad it is all just an act. He is faker than Pam Anderson’s chest cannons, which tells you that he is grossly overcompensating for something in his life.
