The first time I heard the term “ABC” was when my mother told me I was one. I thought she was just being silly but I asked her what the phrase meant and she told me it stood for “American Born Chinese”. My parents were both born in China and immigrated to the United States together after they were married. They studied vigorously for the U.S. citizenship test and passed with flying colors and earned their U.S. citizenship like many other immigrants. I am different however. I am the first generation in my family to be born in the United States, thus making me American born and Chinese. Technically, my parents are the first generation Americans in my family, but personally, I consider my sister and I as first generation as well. We are the first to be born on U.S. soil, and we grew up and completed schooling here. And like many of my other fellow first generation Americans, I have learned a lot about what it means to feel and grow up as an American and Chinese.

1. Your family and cultural traditions seem perfectly normal and mundane to you, but your friends think they are the coolest things ever. This is a great opportunity to teach them about your culture.

Probably one of the first times I became aware of this was when my best friend came into my kitchen and told my mom that she thought her CD player sitting on the counter was really cool. It wasn’t a CD player, it was our rice cooker. Needless to say, she was a bit embarrassed, but we thought it was funny and cute. This was one of the first indicators that I had a chance to educate my friends, who came from different backgrounds than me, about my culture and traditions. Nowadays, my house has become a popular spot for learning how to make and eat pork dumplings. Everyone knows that sharing is caring, so educate and let others educate you about their cultures and traditions. You will learn more than you ever thought you could.

2. People will assume you cannot speak English (or at least not fluently) or think you are an international student.

Personally, I have become less offended when this happens to me overtime because I understand why people makes these mistakes. We all assume things we shouldn’t and our assumptions become obvious when we talk to and treat others differently. My advice is simple and applies to everyone regardless of race or background; do not assume anything based on appearances and treat everyone, regardless of race or how well you know them, as you would anyone else. Let them tell you if they need you to slow down your speech or that their native language is not your own or do to understand you.

3. You will garner SO MUCH respect for you parents.

Particularly if you are the first ABC (or first American born) in your family, this applies very heavily to you. For me, I have never had as much respect for my parents as I do now and that’s probably due to the fact that I’m nearing the end of my college education and will soon be looking for a job. As I am going through this, I always imagine what it was like for my parents when they had to do this. However, it was much more difficult for them to endure the handicaps of being in a country they had never been to before. They did not have anyone but each other and were not being able to speak the same language as everyone else.

In addition to the cultural differences, my parents arrived in the 1980s, while I am here in the 21st century, this is a whole different era. Our society has changed tremendously during that time period, especially in the way we treat and view minorities. I have personally been able to live in two of the most liberal areas in the U.S. (Oregon and New York) for the majority of my life, so my minority status has not affected me much. In contrast, my parents were minorities who did not speak fluent English while living in the heavily Caucasian state of South Carolina. The differences in our experiences as a minority gives me a new perspective and makes me respect them so much.

4. You may be the glue between your different groups of friends.

Growing up, I had mainly two groups of friends: my Caucasian friends and my friends who were minorities. I never saw myself as being exclusive to either of my friend groups so when it came to birthday parties or other social gatherings I had, I invited everyone. I really loved having all of my friends come together and get along so well and I think they appreciated it too. So hang out with your friend’s friends. You never know who you’ll meet.

5. It can be difficult balancing your two identities.

Am I Chinese or am I American? Technically I’m both but in two different ways. But, it is not always that simple. Having two identities has its emotional toll and often creates confusion. The balance between growing up as an American in a very typical American community while simultaneously upholding my Chinese heritage and roots continues to be difficult. My parents chose to raise my sister and I in a more “American” fashion, which allowed us to mold and fit in socially. But this was at the cost of losing a bit of our Chinese identity.

Because my parents’ had a more liberal parenting approach, my sister and I did not grow up speaking Mandarin and thus are not fluent. I definitely regret not taking this more seriously when my mother tried to teach us but it’s a goal I plan to accomplish in the future. Another consequence is not being able to see our family often. The last time I saw either set of my grandparents was in 2008, which is also the last time we visited our relatives in China as a family. I definitely get jealous that many of my friends see their grandparents or relatives on a regularly basis. But amidst these consequences, I am still proud of both of my identities. It’s just a matter of finding the right balance between the two.

As I have gotten older, I have generated more appreciation and pride for my ABC status. It represents the sacrifices and risks my parents took and my split identity as an American and Chinese woman. Although there are times when being an ABC have been difficult, there have been many more times I have been proud to be an ABC. Struggling with identity can be tough, but the journey of discovering self identity truly helps to mold who you are and lets you learn things about yourself that you could not learn in any other way.

The cover photo for this article comes from the graphic novel, "American Born Chinese" by Gene Luan Yang. In the novel, the lives of three separate characters who all find themselves being alone and isolated in their community eventually cross paths in the most surprising ways. It’s a novel I enjoy even more than the last time I read it. I encourage my fellow ABCs and other first generation Americans to read it as it deals with themes of racial struggles and stereotypes, transformation and understanding identity.