Breaking up is hard to do. When you live and breathe for a sport, it's hard to step off that field for the final time. This week I played a soccer game that concluded my junior year's soccer season. For the first time in my life, I saw several hearts break right in front of my eyes. When that final whistle blew, every woman on that field fell to the ground in tears.
For athletes, when a season ends, there is a grieving process. The same grieving that takes place when a break-up or loss occurs. For non-athletes, or people that haven't found that passion yet, you might think that grieving a season is way too over the top. To those who have found that one thing in life that they live for, breathe for, dream about, suffer for, and love with every ounce of their being, know that when a season ends, it's not something that can be forgotten and moved on from quickly.
7 Stages of Grief
1. Shock
The time runs out and the final whistle blows, and all you can do is fall to your knees in sorrow.
2. Denial
Your team refuses to believe that you're finished. You refuse to leave the field. You're not ready. Even when coach is finished talking to you, you're not finished being his player or finished with your season. You deny the loss and the termination of your season, and stay on the field until your tears demand privacy.
3. Anger
"Good game.... Good game.... I hate you.... Good game..... Good game......"
You're just angry at the world. Angry at the situation. Angry at yourself. You replay every minute of the game in your brain, trying to correct all your mistakes. You're mad that something you wanted so bad was just taken from you. Now you have to go shake the hands of the ones who caused all this anger and sadness.
4. Bargaining
You ponder every possibility of wondering if there is anything you can do to change the outcome. If you beg hard enough, can you receive a wild card to nationals? Can you just ask for more time? You'll trade anything for another game on that field.
5. Depression
Your weekends are free. Your weekdays are free. Your 6ams are free and your 7pms are free... It's not exciting, its horribly depressing....You used to be on the field playing, in the gym running, at team dinners laughing, but now you feel sad that those days are over and now those sanctioned events have abruptly ended.
6. Testing
You begin to look for things to fill that new void in your life... You try everything to distract you from the sadness and reminder of how much you miss your sport. You are constantly doing things because you know just sitting around your room will only let you wallow in sadness and a dark hole that you NEED to get out of.
7. Acceptance
You accept it: Your season is over... and no matter how sad and angry you get about it, you realize that there is nothing you can do and just accept that. You went through every other step of grief and now you have pulled yourself out of the negatives, and through being busy you realize that the only thing that brings you peace and joy are the activities that bring you closer to being prepared for next season. You accept that the best you can be right now is taking steps towards a better you for next season. You accept your season is over, but you realize your team is there in the same dark place you were. You have each other to lean on and love and to work hard with for the next year, so you can return to the field together.
