My mother left Beirut, Lebanon when she was 12 years old and my father left Aleppo, Syria to move to America when he was 18 years old. My parents met in the 1980s and got married in 1985. They had my brother and I in 1996. Both of my parents were raised in traditional households and spoke Armenian and Arabic. Growing up in a Middle Eastern household, my parents raised me in a setting that was very different from most American households. If you grew up in a household with Middle Eastern families, this one is for you.
1. You spoke at least two languages at home.
English is probably not your first language as a first-generation American. You were taught your native language, then learned English through school and ESOL (English Speakers for Other Languages) classes. You were forced to speak your native language at home because your parents claimed to "not understand English." Your grandparents may not speak a word of English, so your native language was the only way to communicate.
2. You and your siblings have a secret language.
When out in public, you and your sibling speak your native language without worrying about others understanding it. People are constantly guessing what language you speak. My brother and I communicate in Armenian when we are trying to be sneaky.
3. Your name is usually mispronounced.
My brother and I were both given Armenian names by our grandmother. Unfortunately, many of our teachers and American friends butcher our names no matter how many times we teach them. It's pronounced Jar-ya-n, but I've heard Jerry, Garran, Gairn, among 1,000 other variations.
4. Family dinner is like
Thanksgiving every day.
When I go home on the weekends, my mother makes a feast of chicken kebab, grilled vegetables, hummus and pilaf. One time, my American friend came over and asked if we were having a party. For us, it was a normal family dinner.
5. You never had "normal" lunches.
Your mom packed Middle Eastern food and vowed to never let you eat school lunches. Lunch consisted of your friends asking what you were eating and why it smelled that way. My favorite lunches consisted of baneer hats, hummus, byoregs, dolma or sarma.
6. You refer to your parents as "Mama" and "Baba."
Saying "mother" and "father" just did not sound right. Your friends are confused when you call you dad "Bab" and think his real name is Bob. It's actually Hrayr.
7. Your parents were strict.
Similar to Toula Portukalos from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, my parents were always on my back about everything that I did. Going out always seems to lead to the same questions: "Where are you going? Who are you going with? Why are you leaving? Where do they live?" You were interrogated until your parents had sufficient information to make a decision about whether or not you were actually going. And, if you were allowed to go out, you had a curfew, or your parents would show up to pick you up themselves.
8. Education was very important.
Your parents always wanted what was best for you, even though they may not have done the best is school. Straight A's were expected, along with a MD/Ph.D in the near future. Your parents enrolled you in the best schools to ensure your education was top-notch.
9. Family is your first priority.
Your family seems to see you more than once a week. Your cousins are your best friends. Meanwhile, your aunts, uncles and grandparents seem to be your second set of parents. Your huge family is constantly there for you and supports you no matter what. You would cancel your plans in a heartbeat to spend time with family.
10. You've always had a busy schedule.
Whether it was church school, scouts or soccer practice, you've always had somewhere to be. Your weekends would consist of activities that reinforced your culture.
11. Hookah was everywhere you turned.
Whether you called it hookah, argileh, nargile or shisha, it was all the same. Throughout my childhood, smoking and hookah just always seemed to be around. My father actually decorated our fireplace with two strategically placed hookahs. It was never a party without letting out some smoke.
12. You are constantly reminded
of your family heritage.
My grandmother likes to lecture me once a week about the Armenian genocide. She tells me about her father's carriage business, her nine brothers and sisters and her position as a high-end seamstress. I cherish learning about my family history and plan to continue the legacy.
13. You always had protection.
Your older brothers and cousins were your bodyguards. Whether it was picking you up after a fall or scaring off boys, they were there for you.
14. You constantly remind your parents how to speak or write in English.
My dad is the number one offender. He often asks me how to spell words when he is texting or sending emails. The best part is receiving somewhat legible texts from your parents about how much they love you.
15. Your family members always sound like they're shouting.
It seems that no one know how to speak with an inside voice. You sometimes wake up in the morning thinking that your family members are arguing, but they are really just discussing what they want to eat for breakfast.
16. One word: Hair.
You started shaving and waxing much earlier than most of your peers. You carry a pair of tweezers where ever you go. You pray for laser hair removal.
17. You have family everywhere.
Your family and extended family are large and they spread across the globe. You probably have family spread out from California to Canada to Australia.
18. Respecting your elders is a must.
Your parents taught you to respect those older than you. Your grandparents are some of the wisest people you know.
19. Your grandma got upset when you didn't eat.
You called your grandmother "Nani," "Yia Yia," "Nene," or "Medz Mama." Whether you were hungry or not, you had to eat when you went to her house. She would even offer to spoon feed you if you refused.
20. It is normal to kiss people on the cheek.
The thing you hate about family gatherings is greeting 100 people before you have a chance to relax. It is a tradition to kiss on both cheeks before moving on to the next person.
21. Your home is filled with traditional décor.
For Armenians, this means crosses, Armenian prayers and evil eyes scattered throughout the house. Don't forget the carpets on the floor and on the wall.
22. Wooden spoons and red pepper flakes were your worst nightmare.
God forbid that you did something bad and had to face the wrath of the wooden spoon! Red pepper flakes were your mom's secret weapon to punish less severe crimes.
23. Your parents have interesting solutions for everything.
Gus Portukalos' solution of choice was Windex, while my mom sprays everything with 90 percent isopropyl alcohol. Meanwhile, my dad believes garlic is the universal medicine for everything.
24. Dating is hard.
Your culture expects you to have a boyfriend and get married all at the same time. At every event, you always hear "you're next."
25. Tea and coffee are served at least once a day.
Your mother always stocks up on tea and coffee from the nearest Shiraz, Zem Zem Market or Middle Eastern food store. There are all kinds of tea sets in your cabinets, everything ranging from small espresso cups to glass tea cups.
26. You have multiple fridges and freezers in the house.
Your mother makes food very often and stores it all in her pantry, which looks more like a grocery store. The fridge includes a variety of foods such as olives, Lebni, mozzarella cheese and hummus, while the freezer includes everything from frozen meats to packs of pita bread.
Currently, my parents live in a house that has 2 fridges and 2 freezers.
27. You would not change your culture for the world.
You are proud to be a part of your unique culture. You would not trade your family and traditions for anything.
Your parents only want you to do your best and succeed.
