Since coming to college, and especially during the last few weeks, I've learned some hard, glaring truths about life. I don't think I've fully grasped them all the way, but I believe I will get there someday.
1. There are some things that are just out of your control.
Oh, jeez. This one hits me hard. I'm all about control. And when the ball (ie: control) is in the other person's court, it frustrates me. Giving them the control, waiting on the decision or action? It kills me. Life is a delicate balance of giving and taking control (if someone has said this before, forgive my ignorance) and the real key is knowing when to give and take. This isn't something you learn once and you are able to remember it. It's something that is almost a daily test because it's likely it will be different every time.
2. You are enough. Don't let society or anyone else tell or imply you are not.
In the world today, there are so many stereotypes, expectations, standards set for people. And if we don't measure up, we start to believe that we are not enough. That we didn't get the grade we wanted on a project, that we mess up at work, that...I could probably go on all day, but that would waste time. The point is this: YOU. ARE. ENOUGH. If you need to write this in thick, black Sharpie on your mirror so that it's the first thing you see when you wake up, then do it. Don't worry about your appearance, your personality, your humor. You are enough.
3. Sometimes we desperately want to help the ones closest to us, but we can't or it isn't our place to and it leaves us feeling helpless.
It's true. Especially when it comes to family and friends. All you can do is give advice and let them make their own decision. More often than not, you're not going to agree with it. And that sucks. You might feel like that they didn't take your advice into account before making the decision. But you can't control them. If they are willing to take that risk, then that's all that matters. It will be a lesson or a success for them, and they will either need you to not say "I told you so" or want to celebrate with you. However it works out, you need to swallow any stray thoughts and remaining pride, and go with the flow. No matter how hard will it be.
4. No relationship is worthless: you learn what you want and what you don't want.
It makes sense when you think about it. If a guy breaks your heart, you learn what you don't want in a relationship. When the seemingly perfect and nice girl agrees to a date and it goes well (for both), you learn what qualities you want and are looking for in a girl. You learn what you need and what you could do without. So, when you are enjoying a lazy Sunday morning with your spouse and children, laughing over something the dog did, you will realize the broken hearts and the breaking of hearts and the unrequited crushes were worth it.
5. Being understanding, being the better person, always putting the person's feelings before your own has its limits.
Man. This one will be a hard be for me. My mom and siblings taught me over and over again that when someone hurts you, you need to be the better person and not retaliate back. I would like to make a tiny addition, actually it's more of an adjustment. You need to tell the person that whatever happened or whatever was said hurt you. It's not fair to anyone to expect the person to be able to read your mind and deduce that you're hurt. That's it. You did your part. And now it's up to the person what will follow. Sometimes you need to put yourself first because that person doesn't do anything, and you can't wait around for them for something that might never come. Life's too short and precious to waste waiting that might not be worth waiting for.
