During my 19 years on this earth, I have encountered more than my fair share of “soccer moms.”

From the relatively tame, to the more extreme, they are a force to be reckoned with, especially when it comes to their sons or daughters. Whether you know one, have one, are one, or aspire to be one, a true soccer mom can be put into one of these categories.

The Low Key Mom:

This is the most sensible and realistic soccer mom. You’ll see her on the sideline quietly cheering for her child. She doesn’t know much about the game, but understands that her son or daughter likes to play and that’s all that matters. This mom won’t be hosting any team parties or sleepovers but will chip in whenever it’s needed. She also (silently) judges the more intense moms from a distance in her folding chair. Under her breath, she prays that they’ll catch a cold and lose their voice so she won’t have to listen to them screaming.

The Average Mom:

This version is a few steps above the "Low Key Mom." She is organized and has the game and practice schedule on the door of her family’s refrigerator. Her child has the best of both worlds. Not only is their soccer bag packed with all the necessary equipment, they don’t have to worry about being embarrassed by their mom going over the top. This mom does her fair share of work for the team, but behind the scenes, because she is happy to let others have the spotlight (that they clearly need).

The Career Mom:

This soccer mom has everything down to a science. She knows exactly how long it takes to get to the field so she has enough time to grab a coffee on the way and her full carpool won’t be late. She knows how to get even the worse grass stains out of white uniforms and her child always shows up well prepared to play. The purse she carries is like Mary Poppins’ magic bag: it has everything. Need an extra hair tie? Neosporin? Water bottle? Icepack? The "Career Mom" is your go-to. She could probably sew a brand new uniform during warm ups in time for a player to wear it by the starting whistle.

The Out of Control Mom:

This soccer mom brings over-identification to a whole new level. She knows the names, numbers, positions, skill levels, heights, and weights of all the players (including the ones on the opposing team). She can recite the game schedule, with the correct opponent, date, and location, in her sleep. Her wardrobe consists strictly of her child’s current team apparel but she isn’t borrowing it from her son or daughter, she bought her own. This mom brings a megaphone to the sideline and voices her opinion every chance she has. The police have definitely been called due to an altercation that this Mom had with one of the parents from the opposing team. She also cheers solely for her son or daughter, no matter how good or bad a player they are. Her van is plastered with bumper stickers that highlight her unhealthy obsession with the fact that her child can kick a ball and run at the same time.