Shay and I met when we were just 13 years old. I think God knew that we needed each other, but that's another story.
After a few days of 13 year old "talking", he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I guess this meant that we were "official"? Months later he told me that he was in love with me and knew he was going to marry me. So what did I do? I broke up with him. I thought he was crazy, after all, we barely knew each other.
After I broke up with him, he and his sidekick, Jonathon, still came to my locker and walked me to gym every day. After a few weeks of that game, I decided I'd be his girlfriend again. Well, it's now been six years & we're still walking this journey called life together!
We're soon to be married. So I guess he wasn't that crazy after all.
At 13 years old, I had no idea that he would be the man that I married... but God did. People, mostly adults, constantly questioned us, and still do. Your reaction is probably like many other peoples, in fact you probably have some of the same questions and concerns.
1) You don't want to try dating other people?
2) Don't you feel like you're missing out?
Or of course—
1) You're too young to get married, you've got your whole life ahead of you.
2) You don't know what its like to be broken up with.
The answers to these questions and concerns are simple. Why would we want to try dating other people when we are perfectly happy where we're at?
Missing out on what, one night stands and hooking up?
Because to us, that's not missing out. If anything, having each other was a blessing. Because it helped us to resist temptation.
We held each other accountable during our high school years. Instead of going to all the parties, we hung out together. When Shay & I were mature enough and realized we were in love, we made the decision to date with a purpose. There were many times that we could have broken up.
However, for us, breaking up wasn't an option anymore. Instead of taking the easy route, we worked things out.
Each day I love him more than the day before because of that.
Our relationship hasn't been perfect but getting through the hard times is what has helped our relationship to grow. When friends go through breakups and I try to comfort them, they often say, "You don't know what its like to be broken up with" between sobs. No, I don't. But I do know a thing or two about relationships. So here are the top three things I've learned-
1. Most importantly, put God first. Because the closer you both get to him, the closer you get to one another. If your relationship starts falling apart, this is most likely your problem. Pray together, study the word together, and grow together spiritually.
2. Don't set expectations. This was a hard one for me to learn. You can't expect your significant other to do things such as texting you to say goodnight when he's gone or bringing you flowers. If you do this, then often times your just setting yourself up for disappointment if it doesn't happen. However, if you don't set these expectations when it does happen, you will appreciate it that much more.
3. Women want love, men want respect. After your honeymoon phase is over, your relationship isn't always going to be easy. In fact, doing the little things or romantic things can be forgotten about. This is where this rule comes into place. The more you show him respect, the more he will show you love.
Shay & I are now 20 years old, and happier than ever. These past six years have flown by, and I know our wedding day will be here before we know it. I've felt for quite some time now that he's my husband. But making it official, and standing before all of our friends and family in the presence of God will be a day that I'll never forget. True love is worth fighting for (even if you have to wait at her middle school locker everyday, after being broken up with).
Oh, & last thing...when you "know," you know.
