Relationship Advice From Dennis Reynolds | The Odyssey Online
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Student Life

Relationship Advice From Dennis Reynolds

The foolproof system to win anyone's undying love and devotion.

Jillian Jamrozik
Aug 31, 2015
Northern Michigan University
154
Relationship Advice From Dennis Reynolds
Joey L

1. Be Yourself

You can never make a donkey look sexy. The true you is always the best version of yourself.

2. Don't Let Anyone Lower Your Worth

3. Give Gifts

Everyone loves gifts, especially homemade ones. Plus, this could be your ideal opportunity to show your romantic interest in your potential partner.

4. Be Direct

Be direct in what you want.

5. Don't Be Afraid to Make Judgments

Don't be afraid to say no to someone. There is no shame in valuing your worth and having standards.

6. Show Off Your Dance Moves

7. Give Compliments

Compliments can go a long way.

8. Show Off Your Talents

9. Respect

Respect yourself and respect the other person.

10. Dress To Impress

Don't let your jeans prevent you from doing what you need to do. Wear an outfit that is both shows off your style while still being practical.

11. Always Be Prepared

Whatever tools you use, keep them handy. Don't get caught without protection.

12. When All Else Fails, Implement the D.E.N.N.I.S. System

If the previous steps have not won your romantic interest, then it's time to use the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, the foolproof system. Demonstrate Your Value. Engage Physically. Nurture Dependence. Neglect Emotionally. Inspire Hope, and finally, Separate Entirely. This is the ultimate system for seduction, with a guaranteed success rate.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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Why I Love Being Single (And You Should, Too)

Dedicated to February 14

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24313
sex and the city
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1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

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Each sign is determined by the relative positions of celestial bodies to ourselves at our moment of birth, which is said to influence our personalities. Find your zodiac GIF below, based on the traits and characteristics provided by each sign.

***Disclaimer: GIFS are meant to be lighthearted and are based on descriptions of signs from http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/.

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