“You’ve been eating too healthy this week because of the wedding. Just eat the whole pizza if you want to. You’ll still fit in the dress.” –Frenemy
“Yes, matching velvet track suits are still in style.” –Frenemy
“He forgot your cat’s birthday? Wtf, break up with him.” –Frenemy
Frenemies. A scary word. Why? Because it represents a disguise, a trick, a deception. This word describes one who breaks sacred trust. A person we consider a friend, but, behind a clever front, is more enemy than friend. A master of passive aggression and everyone on this planet has had a frenemy at some point. You may have one, you may have 10—and they can be hard to spot.
It’s important to identify a frenemy to protect yourself emotionally, socially and mentally (possibly physically, but in general a frenemy is too passive aggressive and, well...smart, to hurt you physically). Recognizing a frenemy in your life is key because frenemies can do lasting damage and it’s essential to your well-being to exit the relationship in the most peaceful way possible.
A frenemy’s main goal is to hurt us with passive-aggressive acts and covert undermining—a stealth attack. If you've ever been a little drunk and had a friend try and convince you to get a tattoo? Frenemy. The buddy that said you'd look great with inky black hair, cut super short and shaggy? Frenemy. The girl who convinced you your crush couldn't possibly like you despite his flirty texts? Hello, frenemy. And the sneaky, real mind-f#*k is this: Some frenemies don’t even consciously know that they are a frenemy, a.k.a. "clueless frenemy."
For some their hate is truly malicious and intentional, but for the clueless frenemy, it's still malicious, but accidental. This sad soul is so lacking in self-awareness, they don't even realize the damage they inflict. Regardless, a frenemy does not deserve to be in your life, no matter what. Period.
When we experience a connection with someone and have chosen to extend our trust—this is a gift and a privilege we give them. Our friendship and trust are gifts. The best of gifts. So take a little care when choosing friends. Surround yourself with people who lift you higher, make you feel better, and help you climb the ladders of your life. Because, let’s face it, life can be hard. And you need the right people in your life. #TeamSelf
There is absolutely no need for negative people to be in your atmosphere, dimming your light with their harmful dark energy and destructive ways.
Haters are going to hate, brats will be brats, and frenemies are going to be frenemies. Usually, this kind of pseudo-friendship arises from jealousy. When you choose to live life as a confident, smart and radiant woman, the haters will be drawn to you and they are going to love to hate you. Fact of life. They’ll want to get coffee with you, go out to the bars, get to know you and gain your trust; but it won’t take long to catch a glimpse of their true colors.
The bottom line is this: we cannot care about what others think of us. In order to maintain our happiness and balance, we cannot give even a single little damn about what anyone else thinks about who we are. If we worry about the opinions of others, we might just go crazy. Trying to please all others is an impossible task after all (why has this basic fact not always been obvious to all womankind?).
Haters are going to hate because they are jealous. It’s as simple as that. Some people don’t want you to shine, because they themselves are dull and gray. People throw rocks at things that shine (that's Taylor Swift-brilliance right there). The haters want to punish you for your qualities of light. But your qualities of light are not bad—they are blessings and should be celebrated, embraced.
Continue accepting your blessings because they belong to you and if allowed they will grow in magnitude and power. They’re yours, unique. Be beautiful, likeable, confident, radiant and strong despite the jealous people in your life who try to tell you otherwise. Ignore their voices and shine.
Find the courage within to say goodbye to these frenemies. In order to attract only positivity we cannot be afraid to cut ties and end negative relationships. If you discover that a friend is more harm than good, it’s okay to say goodbye. This kind of selfishness is always good.
We also need to check and make sure that we are not a frenemy, ourselves. At times we may interact in unkind, passive-aggressive ways without realizing our own faulty behavior. We may feel distaste for a another for numerous little reasons, but we don’t register what we’re really doing in the moment. Often the way we treat others is habitual—in both good and bad ways—and although right under our noses, our own behavior goes unexamined.
Sometimes, the way we think about a person isn’t the way they actually are. And sometimes, we don’t see the way we really are.
Be the friend you want to have and the frenemies of the world will have a harder time putting you under their spell—because your magic, the magic of your inner light, will reveal their true colors.
