You’ve done it. The cute boy from class, the flirty barista at Starbucks, the hot soccer player -- whoever it is, you’ve managed to trick a boy into asking you on a date. Hurray! The two of you have decided to out for drinks -- it’s casual, yet intimate enough that you get to know each other. Unfortunately, the hardest part is yet to come.
For many, first dates can cause a lot of anxiety. Choosing an outfit, obsessing about what could go wrong, doing your hair, playing out worst-case scenarios in your head, daydreaming about your futures together -- it’s a tough business! In this case, you need to think about how to properly deploy alcohol, too. Your date may never have seen you inebriated before, and you want to walk away from the interaction (literally; if he has to carry you out, chances are there won’t be second date) without him thinking you’re an alcoholic. Now, before you add “drink choice” to the already growing mound of anxiety regarding this date, fret not. Using my highly sophisticated and cultured knowledge regarding this topic (I’ve been 21 for three entire months) I bring to you a list of popular drink orders and what they say about you.
Martini.
You are sophisticated, classy and mature -- 100% real adult. Your date must be so impressed! Reality:In your attempt to look like a Bond girl and showcase your refined taste, you’ve come off as somewhat of a prick. Essentially, you just spent anywhere from $10 to $15 on a drink that is pretty much straight alcohol. And heaven forbid, please do not act shocked when you receive a drink with gin -- you do know that martinis aren’t typically made with vodka, right? Maybe save this potent mix for date number two -- or better yet, just don’t.
Long Island Iced Tea.
This drink just screams, “I want to get drunk, STAT.” And if you are in that one percent who might actually just enjoy drinking these intoxicating cocktails, you might want to hold off on a first date. Ordering a drink this concentrated might give off the vibe that you are so uncomfortable on the date that you need the social lubrication of alcohol for assistance. But if by drink number two it’s still awkward and you realize there’s no way you want a second date, by all means go for it.
Cosmopolitan or Sex on the Beach.
Your favorite show is, or once was, "Sex and the City." Cosmos worked for Carrie, so why wouldn’t they work for you? It’s possible that you’re underage and using a fake, and there’s a 95 percent chance that if your date excuses himself to go to the bathroom, you’ll snap a quick pic of the drink for Instagram. #cosmo #SOTB #imsocool #myfakeworked.
Shots.
Just no. Why would you ever get shots on a first date?! Refer to previous goal: do not give off impression as an alcoholic.
Beer.
This can go either way. Most guys love a girl who can enjoy a cold beer --you seem laid back, and easygoing (especially compared to the girl who orders a $15 cocktail). However, ths does not mean you should order a beer if you don't like beer. You will not be able to focus on talking to your date if you’re drinking something you hate; likewise, it’ll be pretty obvious to your date when he sees you cringe after every forced sip. Pro tip: If you like beer and order one on a date, be prepared for your date to ask questions. Know what your favorite kind of beer is (IPA, Amber, etc.), and understand basic beer terminology. If you can identify between the two main ways of categorizing beer: light/dark and hoppy/malty you’ll be able to hold your own in a beer-related conversation and probably score a few bonus points with your date.
Rum and Coke or gin and tonic.
You panicked. Nicely stated, you chose to remain in your comfort zone. These are two classic gateway choices for people who just began drinking, and you see no need to diverge from your usual. The bar you chose is also probably one you regularly frequent, and you’re wearing your lucky shoes.
Margarita.
Or anything with tequila, really. You want to dance. Step one: make sure your date likes dancing and you’re in a location where it is acceptable to dance. If this is not the case, step away from the tequila. If, yes, still limit yourself to one -- or you run the risk of your clothes falling off. Stay away from frozen margaritas in a bar unless you want to give off “cool mom” vibes.
Ultimately, choose a drink that you already know you like, that you will behave like a normal person after drinking, and that reflects who you are. In all honesty, the guy may not even pay much attention to what you order past what it costs on his tab. Maybe us girls just have a tendency to overanalyze everything. A highly credible source (my little) states, “Something I’ve learned from my relationship is that guys literally do not read into anything the way girls do.” (And she has a boyfriend, so clearly she must know what she’s talking about?). But just in case drink choice does matter, what is the perfect first-date drink? Beats me. I’ll let you know when I get invited back on a second one.
