For some, birthdays are milestones – the kind of thing that makes every fiber of your being feel different, even though you aren’t really that different. For others, birthdays are just another day – another day where you’re simply a year older than you were yesterday.

For most, twenty-first birthdays are more than milestones; they are a celebration, a relief and a sense of entitlement.

There are no more chances of an MIP, no more fretting over who will buy your alcohol, and finally, no more being the underage friend who can’t go to the bars.

You’re twenty-one, congratulations.

Twenty-one doesn’t just mean you get to legally drink, it means you’re one step further into adulthood, one year closer to graduating, and quickly grasping on to the reality that is life. Sure, you’ll learn to like wine and do fun things that come with being twenty-one, but you’ll also spend a lot of money, gain more responsibility, and even find yourself miss being underage.

When you turn twenty-one, people expect you to go out. They expect you to drink until you no longer remember your name, your shoe size or how to walk. You’ll hear stories weeks after the event occurred that make you annoyed because it was your twenty-first birthday, everyone made you feel like you had to drink that much, and for a moment, you wanted to. They’ll act like what you did was so funny and ridiculous, but what else were you supposed to do? Were you supposed to spend this momentous moment in bed watching New Girl? Were you supposed to not drink like you’re no longer underage? Were you supposed to not indulge in this new right? No, you did what most other people do when they turn twenty-one. Turning twenty-one is like a rite of passage. You spent all of this time wishing you were twenty-one, so when you finally turn twenty-one you have this grand romantic version of what the event will be like.

It’s a lot like being in a fun-house. It’s colorful, there are balloons, there are bright signs and drinks, there are distorting mirrors, and you’ll get dizzy. It’s not just a celebration of another year of life, it’s a celebration of a new chapter of your life; the legal drinking life. It starts out light and exciting. Everyone is buying you drinks, you’re wearing an obnoxious crown, and people you’ve never seen before are wishing you a happy birthday – you’re on top of the world. Then things get a little less clear, a little more numb, and a lot more confusing. People are still buying you drinks and you’re still taking them, but you should probably stop. You take a shot of water and head to the bathroom. You think you see yourself in the mirror, but you aren’t entirely sure. Your crown is gone, your sash keeps falling down, and your hair is a mess. Who has your phone? Where is your sister? You’re dragged out the bathroom for more drinks. The next thing you know, you’re bawling hysterically and hiding under a table. Why? You have no idea. All you did was what others before you did – you turned twenty-one.

Turning twenty-one is not like turning any other age; more is expected of you. Turning twenty-one is exciting, it is scary, it is decently painful, and it’s not what you think it will be.