Believe me, I know the small town jokes and I’ve heard the stereotypes. I know what it feels like to live in a place where almost everybody knows everybody and your mom heard exactly how fast you were going down that road, “young lady.” I graduated from the only high school in my town and I think I’ve been called “so-and-so’s daughter” more than my own name. I get it, really.
Being raised in a town like this has its perks. I grew up being told how much potential I had, how I could be whatever I wanted, how I had the opportunity to impact the world. This sounded great and inspiring, but then I would look around me. Rarely did anyone actually do these things. It didn’t seem as if anyone attempted to reach their dreams, or maybe they just didn’t dream big enough? Whatever the case, it didn’t take long before I understand the expectations: graduate high school, go to work or a college down the road, marry a “nice young man,” and watch your children repeat the cycle.
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I remember how I would sit at home and read articles about how a senior from some big city was deciding between this Ivy League and that Ivy League, or how a big time magazine published a young student from some fancy writing program. I obsessed over stories of student led campaigns and I sat for hours reading article after article of students standing for their beliefs. The stories seemed almost fictitious to me. I craved the sense of adventure they offered and I wanted to be like them and actually do something with my life.
For a while, I struggled to find a balance between the two. It took me a long time to understand that it was okay to fulfill the expectations of my small town. That graduating from a local college, getting married and having kids is okay. It can even be good. People do it everyday and are perfectly comfortable. But I also knew that I couldn’t settle for comfortable and I wasn’t happy with just being okay.
So, I decided to ignore obvious expectations and I did something out of the ordinary and way out of my comfort zone. I left. Not for good, and not out of spite. I really do love my hometown and the people in it, but the decision to move two and a half hours away to go to school was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I wasn’t taking it to the extreme and attending an Ivy League like in the articles I used to read, but I also wasn’t settling for “okay.”
Going to a school without any of my high school classmates is making me step out of my comfort zone. I don’t think it’s necessary to move far away, but if I have learned anything from my college experience so far it’s that moving out of my house and not being able to be dependent on my family for everyday things is so crucial as I get closer to the scary world of adulthood. It’s forcing me to make new friends, it’s allowing me to try new things, it’s teaching me to appreciate my small town upbringing and it’s showing me that sometimes, the best thing a person can do is break away from expectations and dream bigger dreams for oneself.
So, maybe I’ll end up in room 104 at Walker High School trying to convey the deep symbolism of Sophocles to a group of tired teenagers. Or maybe I’ll end up signing a novel dedicated to those special people that did that very thing for me. I’m still unsure of what my future holds beyond college, but no matter what, I assure you this: whatever I end up doing, I’ll be fulfilling my dreams, because I’m not okay with settling for anything less.
So, to the student sitting near the front of the classroom, scribbling quotes on post it notes, and wondering what in the world to do with your life, please understand me. If you aren’t happy fulfilling the small town expectations for your life, then don’t. Have the courage to step outside the city limits and dream a dream that is bigger or farther or crazier then you’ve ever imagined. And then do us both a favor and don’t stop until you reach it.
